Blindsided
by Cassy27
Summary: Set after season 3. Terrible events happened that caused Merlin to be shattered. What happened and why has the young sorcerer turned his back on Arthur? And who has he turned to?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.**

**Summary: Set after season 3. Terrible events happened that caused Merlin to be shattered. What happened and why has the young sorcerer turned his back on Arthur? And who has he turned to?**

**AN: (Any and all mistakes are completely my own.) **

**Yes, I started another story... Why you ask? Because this one refuses to let me go so I just started writing it and this is what came out. I always wanted to write a tormented Merlin in one of stories and this was my chance. I just couldn't let it go.**

**So here is the first chapter. I truly hope this will be enjoyed (and I hope a lot of questions will be asked afterwords). Don't worry, the second chapter will arrive soon and bring answers!**

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 1**

The castle was dark, the only light coming from the moon that shone through the open windows. Cold air filled Merlin's lungs. Searching his way through the castle, Merlin was amazed by its beauty.

Large paintings surrounded him as he crossed a large chamber. One long table stood in the middle. It was filled with peculiar looking objects. An old and rusty chandelier, candles that were half burned, old books from which the text inside had already faded.

Merlin let his gaze slide over each object, but there was no time to thoroughly look at them. Pushing open the large wooden doors, Merlin entered the next chamber. Bookshelves stood at every side of the walls. This must be the library. The windows here were closed and three candles were lit, casting everything in an orange glow.

Merlin let the tip of his finger slide over the spines of the books, reading their titles as he passed them. They were about biology, about the astronomy, about every subject that existed in this world.

Gaius would have loved spending an afternoon here, though that would never happen.

Merlin crossed the library slowly until he reached the exit. He glanced behind him once more, not believing that so much knowledge was stored here, knowledge for the witch sisters.

He sighed deeply. Walking through the castle of Morgause and Morgana gave him chills, but there was no turning back. Closing the doors of the library behind him, Merlin heard voices. He had been surrounded by silence for hours, for days even. It was strange to hear something else than his own thoughts.

"You must remain calm, sister."

It was Morgana's voice. She sounded worried, distressed even. Merlin walked towards her voice. He stepped onto a small balcony where he could see the sisters beneath him. They were in what appeared to be the old throne chamber.

A mighty looking chair stood before a large and long table that was covered with candles. Food was placed on it, and wine. Morgana sat on the chair, her long black hair laying over her shoulder. She wore a red velvet dress and her gaze appeared fixated on her sister.

Morgause looked back to Morgana as she paced up and down before the table, fury clearly visible in her eyes and posture. Her long blue robe just didn't touch the ground as she walked. "Everything failed," Morgause's voice was filled with anger, "we have nothing!"

Merlin could hear that the eldest sister's fury wasn't directed towards Morgana, though, but she was clearly upset with someone.

"When our strength has returned," Morgana smiled, "the throne will be ours again."

"Uther still lives," Morgause leaned with her hands on the table. Her blonde curls fell over her shoulders, making it difficult for Merlin to see her face. "Arthur still lives."

"They are weak," Morgana said, rising from her seat, "Camelot is shaking. Soon, we will have another chance."

"I hope you are right, sister," Morgause straightened her back, crossing her hands before her chest, "but there is much we need to take care off."

"Such as?" Morgana walked towards Morgause, placing her hand gently on her shoulder.

"Gaius," Morgause said, her gaze darkening.

Merlin could only swallow heavily. It appeared the sisters did not yet know about his magic.

"He did this to me," Morgause said through pursed lips.

"Your magic will return to its full strength once more," Morgana assured her, a warm smile covering her lips, "Gaius is nothing compared to you."

"I will have my vengeance," Morgause smirked, "one day."

"We must focus, sister," Morgana said, her smile having disappeared, "Uther and his son are our first concern."

"You want the throne back?" Morgause asked. She placed her own hand on that of Morgana's that still lay on her shoulder.

"Yes," Morgana answered, casting her gaze down, "more than anything. Uther doesn't deserve the crown." She looked up, meeting Morgause's eyes. "Neither does Arthur. Magic must be allowed to return to Camelot again."

"And so it will," Morgause let her hand drop back next to her body, "don't worry, sister, everything will fall into place."

"How?" Morgana didn't seem to able to believe what her sister had said. A frown filled her face.

"She doesn't know," Merlin found his own voice to be loud and strong. He could feel the gazes of the sisters immediately drawn towards him, anger flashing in their eyes.

"You," Morgause hissed.

"Guards!" Morgana cried out.

Merlin was surprised to learn that there were actually guards in this castle even though he hadn't seen any. None of that mattered, however. The moment of truth was near and all that mattered now, was how Merlin would handle this.

"_Prya surche rea_," Morgause's voice filled the chamber, the words echoing off the stone walls.

Merlin could feel her magic heading his way and he was surprised to find it almost...weak. "_Dondee_," Merlin said, knowing that his eyes had just flashed into a golden colour. As he lifted his arm, a soft blue wave erupted from the tips of his fingers, protecting him from Morgause's magic.

He could hear Morgana gasp.

"Your magic is nothing compared to mine," Merlin simply said.

The doors that lead into the chamber burst open, four guards running in. They had their swords and shields drawn, but Morgause lifted her hand, ordering them to come to a halt. Her gaze drifted back towards Merlin.

"Why are you here?" she simply demanded to know.

Merlin could see a narrow staircase lead from the small balcony to the Throne Room now and so he descended. Arriving downstairs, he found himself standing only a few feet away from the sisters. Their gazes never left him, anger and frustration clearly visible in their eyes.

"You have a nice castle," Merlin said, ignoring Morgause's question, "a little unprotected, but that can change."

"You're a _sorcerer_?" Morgana asked in disbelief. It seemed she needed Merlin to confirm her thoughts.

He nodded. "Yes," he told her, "I was born with magic."

"And where is your beloved Prince?" Morgause asked. Her words sounded like poison.

"In Camelot," Merlin said, "he does not know I am here."

"And your magic-"

"Is something he is unaware off," Merlin said, looking at Morgana who appeared to have grown paler than usual.

"Why are you here?" Morgause asked again. "Arthur-"

"The Prince," Merlin interrupted the eldest sister. He swallowed heavily, feeling a bile rise in his throat. There was no other way, however, no other road he could take. He had made his decision the day he had left Camelot and there was not turning back. "I no longer serve the Prince."

**AN: Read & Review please :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.**

**AN: (Any and all mistakes are completely my own.) **

**Thanks to all those that left me a review! You're all so very kind :)**

**Here goes the next chapter...**

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 2**

_:.__Present time__:._

The air was cold and every breath Merlin took, caused a small sting in the middle of his chest. He wasn't sure, though, if this pain was caused by the horrible cold air, or because of where he was and what he was doing. He gazed ahead, seeing nothing but trees and a small lake in the distance. Everything was gray-looking as no sun was visible. Small flakes of white snow swirled down. Merlin felt how the tips of his fingers were slowly turning numb.

"It's snowing."

Merlin turned his head to see that it was Morgana who had stepped outside as well. Her long black hair lay over one shoulder and her fingers were crossed before her. She stepped further outside until she stood directly beside the young sorcerer. Slowly, she lifted her hand then, waiting until a few snowflakes had landed on it, instantly melting when touching her warm skin.

"I can't remember the last time it snowed," she smiled, her eyes twinkling, "and I certainly don't remember that it could be this cold."

"Perhaps you should dress a little warmer then," Merlin said, letting his gaze slide over Morgana's velvet purple dress. Beside that, she wore nothing else and it surprised him that her hands didn't have an unnatural blue color already. He gazed down at his own hands, seeing how his nails were already a deep blue.

"You think I am a very vain woman, don't you," she asked, all humor having disappeared from her voice.

"I think you used to be a strong woman," Merlin told her, gazing ahead again, "one who stood up for her people and who was loved by them."

"Times change," she simply answered. She turned to face Merlin fully. "Because I thought that if there was one man who would stand by Arthur until the very end, that it would have been you."

Merlin swallowed heavily. He too had once thought this.

"What happened?" Morgana placed her hand gently on his shoulder.

"It's a long story," Merlin sighed.

Morgana let her hand drop back next to her side. "I have time," she said, a faint smile on her face. It seemed she tried to reassure Merlin of her trust. The young sorcerer turned and followed the youngest sister inside, feeling the warmth of the castle hit him instantly. It was only now that he realized how cold he had truly been.

-o-o-

_:.21 days ago:._

"Merlin," Arthur's voice was heavy and demanding, "are you even listening to me?"

The young servant turned to face the Prince, seeing only annoyance in his eyes. "Not really," he admitted, a small grin on his face.

Arthur grabbed a pillow that lay in the middle of his bed and threw it towards Merlin. The young sorcerer was just able to duck as the pillow missed his head by only inches. "I'm listening," he laughed. Straightening his back, however, his grin had disappeared.

"Is something wrong, Merlin?" Arthur let his hands rest in his sides, the humor having disappeared from his eyes as well.

Merlin wasn't sure, but he could have sworn to see concern flash in the Prince's eyes. He took in a deep breath, not knowing if his troubles were even grounded. "It's Gaius," he told Arthur, "he wasn't feeling well this morning."

"He's sick?" Arthur's eyebrows shot up. "I can't even remember one occasion where Gaius has been ill."

"I know," Merlin threw his arms into the air, "and he's refusing to rest."

"It's probably just a cold," the Prince reassured his servant, "nothing to worry about."

"I'm sure you're right," Merlin smiled. Arthur was right after all. Gaius had never been sick before so why would he be gravely ill this time? He bowed down, picking up the pillow Arthur had just thrown his way.

"I'm always right, Merlin," Arthur joked, a wide grin filling his face. "So I take it you haven't heard a word I said earlier?"

Merlin pressed his lips together, trying to keep down a chuckle. He slowly shook his head.

"My boots need cleaning," Arthur started, "my swords need sharpening, my armor needs polishing. The stables need cleaning and my clothes need to be washed." He grinned when he was finally done talking.

-o-o-

_:.19 days ago:._

Merlin woke when a stroke of sunlight hit his face suddenly. Opening his eyes, he shut them instantly, finding the sunlight too bright. Slowly, he pushed himself up. He had not slept well and his body ached even though he was not the one ill. Swinging his legs over the edge of his bed, he stood up and got dressed.

Entering the main chamber, he found Gaius sitting on the edge of his bed. His arms were embracing his chest, his legs crossed. Even though he sat underneath a warm blanket, he shivered. Sweat had collected itself on his forehead and the tips of his fingers looked almost white as he clutched his blanket with all his force.

"Gaius?" Merlin kneeled before the old physician. He watched how Gaius slowly made eye contact, his hands grabbing his blanket even more tightly and pulling it up higher towards his face.

"I'll be alright, Merlin," Gaius assured him, his voice shaking.

"I don't believe you," the young sorcerer sighed, "you have to let me help you."

The old physician tried to smile, but it wasn't reassuring Merlin at all. As Gaius wanted to speak again, he burst into a fit of coughing and the young sorcerer held Gaius' shoulders, preventing him from falling of the bed.

"Do you know what this is, what illness you have?" Merlin wanted to know when Gaius could breathe more normal again. Normal wasn't the proper word, however, as his breaths were sharp and shallow.

Gaius shook his head, closing his eyes.

"I'll find you a cure," Merlin assured him, "I promise, Gaius, I will."

-o-o-

_:.18 days ago:._

Arthur pushed open the door and entered Gaius' chambers, finding it empty. At least, he thought it was empty until he saw Gaius laying in bed, his eyes shut and his face torn in a painful expression. Arthur hesitated. He didn't want to disturb him, knowing that he could use all the sleep he could get.

Turning around, he heard him call out to him, however.

"Arthur?" Gaius' voice was terribly weak as if every word he spoke took all of his energy.

The Prince quickly walked towards the physician until he was ordered to stop a few feet away from him.

"Don't come too close," Gaius said, "it's too dangerous."

"What are you talking about?" Arthur asked. Merlin had told him Gaius didn't know what illness he had and Arthur had seen the desperation in his servant's eyes. It seemed the physician wasn't getting any better and no cure was available.

"I don't want to-" he coughed loudly, "...make anyone else sick."

"You know what's wrong with you," Arthur understood now and he swallowed heavily, "tell me."

Gaius pushed down his blanket and Arthur's eyes grew wide with horror. Swollen lymph glands were visible in his neck and Arthur pushed back a sudden feeling of nausea as he let his gaze slide towards the additional black dots covering Gaius' skin.

"I tried to help a man in an outlined village of Camelot," Gaius explained, "I couldn't save him."

"What does this mean, Gaius?" Arthur wanted to take a step closer towards him, but every muscle in his body seemed to be paralyzed. He could not move at all.

"I'm sick," Gaius swallowed heavily, "and I won't live for very much longer."

"There has to be a cure," Arthur said, panic rising in his chest.

"I tried everything," Gaius said, "that man didn't make it. He and seven others died only days after I arrived."

"_Seven_?" Arthur closed his eyes, trying to understand everything that was happening.

"I saw their end, Arthur," Gaius' eyes shone brilliantly, tears invading them, but he refused to let them run freely, "it's painful, horrible."

It seemed a fog was lifting from Arthur's mind and the thoughts that invaded it were too horrible to even consider as truth. "Gaius..."

"Merlin can't know about this," the old physician said, his gaze piercing through Arthur's, "promise you that he will not know."

The Prince swallowed heavily.

"He's not ill," Gaius spoke softly, "not yet, but the longer he's around me..."

"I'll keep him busy," Arthur assured him.

"Thank you," Gaius smiled sadly. "You're his friend and he is lucky to have you."

"He's lucky to have _you_," Arthur said, the corner's of his lips turning up just a little.

"Can I call upon you when it is time?" Gaius asked, his tone hesitant. He pulled his blanket back up to his face, his shivers becoming nearly uncontrollable.

Arthur swallowed heavily, slowly nodding. "Yes," he told him, "you can count on me. I will not let you down."

A relieved gaze filled Gaius' eyes and Arthur couldn't do anything anymore. Not a word escaped his lips. Turning around, he walked outside again, carefully closing the door behind him. Leaning against the wood, he closed his eyes. This was a conversation he never wanted to have again.

-o-o-

_:.__Present time__:._

"You can tell me, Merlin," Morgana gazed into his eyes. Green into blue. Her gaze was so very soft that Merlin let all his defenses down for just a second. He couldn't keep the truth a secret anyway and Morgana and Morgause were bound to find out eventually.

"It's Gaius," he exhaled sharply, closing his eyes for a second.

They were walking through the empty halls of the castle now. This time, the windows were closed and it was rather warm inside. Merlin looked at his hands, watching their natural color slowly return.

"What happened?" Morgana asked, her voice soft.

"He was ill," Merlin explained, "very ill."

The youngest sister frowned as she gazed at Merlin, not understanding what he was telling her.

"The disease," Merlin sighed heavily, "Gaius had gotten it from a village where 8 people had died because of it. It was very contagious and Arthur couldn't take the chance."

Morgana swallowed heavily, understanding where Merlin was going with this story. Only it wasn't a story, it was reality.

"Not wanting anyone else becoming ill," Merlin continued to say, his voice harsh and cold, "he killed him because it was for everyone's safety."

Morgana halted, her hand reaching for Merlin's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Merlin."

"I could have saved him," Merlin's words sounded bitter, "I could have found a cure, Morgana, but Arthur wouldn't listen to me." He closed his eyes, pushing back the tears. When opening hem again, he realized how cold his gaze was, but he didn't care. "Arthur killed Gaius and I can not forgive him."

**AN: Another chapter is done. I hope it didn't disappoint. I hope that the reveal of why Merlin has joined the witch sister was satisfying, but I can promise you, more is to follow! It's rather complicated...but stick with me and I will try and tell a good story.**

**Thanks for having read this chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.**

**AN: (Any and all mistakes are completely my own.) **

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 3**

Morgana walked with determination as she entered the throne chamber. Her sister sat at the head of the table, her arms resting casually in her lap. Her blond hair stood brightly against her dark velvet red dress. A smile filled her face as she watched her sister enter.

"My sister," she smiled, delight in her voice, "did you succeed?"

Morgana came to a halt before the head of the table, standing opposite of Morgause. She grinned childlike, as if she had completed a task successfully and was about to get a treat.

"He told me," she explained, "_everything_."

Morgause rose from her seat, her eyes having a twinkling gaze. It appeared as if she was about to hear about the most interesting news that had happened in ages. "Tell me."

"Gaius," Morgana told her, seeing a flash of anger cross her sister's face, "he's dead."

"Really?" Morgause didn't seem to understand, however, what this had to with Arthur.

"He was ill," the youngest sister continued to speak, "very ill and the disease was highly contagious. Arthur had no other choice and killed Gaius, trying to prevent an outbreak."

"Are you sure?" Morgause walked towards her sister and lay her hand on her shoulder. It was as if she was trying to read the truth in Morgana's eyes.

"Merlin was not lying," Morgana answered, "I could tell."

Morgause's eyes became nothing more than two thin lines. It seemed she didn't like what Morgana had just told her. "You could tell?" she asked, her voice high.

"I have known Merlin for almost three years," Morgana explained, all emotion stripped from her voice, "he's a terrible liar and he was truly in pain when he told me."

Her answer seemed to satisfy the eldest sister who smiled happily. "You have done well," she said, "I knew you would succeed."

"He's starting to trust me again," Morgana said, "we can use this."

Morgause nodded. She reached out to push away a curl from Morgana's face. "Perfect," she chuckled.

-o-o-

Gwen suppressed a yawn as she walked through the halls of the castle. She hadn't slept properly for a few days now and it seemed she even had to remind herself not to drop the linen sheets she was carrying.

She was simply exhausted. Only troubles filled her mind, troubles that all involved Merlin.

As she ascended some stairs, she noticed how Gaius' door stood open. She knew no one was supposed to be there. Gaius was gone, dead. Gwen swallowed heavily as she thought about Merlin next. She had never seen so much pain in his eyes.

Slowly walking towards the door, she pushed it further open as she reached the chamber. Carefully, she gazed inside, recognizing a red shirt and brown trousers.

_Arthur_.

Placing down her linen sheets, she walked inside.

"Hello," she said as she entered.

The Prince turned his head, startled by the sudden presence of someone else.

"Guinevere," Arthur conjured a smile onto his face, but it was not very convincing at all, "what are you doing here?"

"I saw the open door," Gwen explained, "I thought someone might have broken in."

Arthur turned to gaze towards the empty chamber again. Their wasn't much to steal here.

"Where is everything?" Gwen asked, noticing a lot of stuff was indeed missing. Gaius' bed for one, clothes an blankets. Even the tables and wooden benches were missing.

"My father had it burned," Arthur explained, sighing, "to make sure the disease was truly destroyed."

Gwen could only nod. This chamber was too clean now, too..._empty_. She did not like standing there at all. The thought that Gaius would never be here again send shivers down her spine and her thoughts went to Merlin.

He had been gone only a few days, but she couldn't wait until he would return. Because he _would_ return. All that he needed was time right now, time to grieve.

"And why are you here?" she asked then, her voice soft. She went to stand next to the Prince, her hand sliding into his. For a moment, she thought he would pull back his hand, but he simply turned towards her and embraced her for a long moment.

Letting her go, he gazed into her brown eyes.

"I thought I heard something," he admitted.

"You miss Merlin," Gwen smiled sadly, "I understand."

Arthur took in a deep breath as he walked towards the door that would lead into Merlin's personal little chamber. He slowly pushed open the wooden door, revealing another empty chamber. The bed had been taken away as well and the small closet was empty.

"Do you think he will return?" Arthur asked as he turned to look at Gwen.

"Yes," she said with determination in her voice, "this is his home."

"After everything..."

"Arthur," Gwen walked up to him and placed her hand on his cheek. "Why didn't you tell him?" she asked, her thumb gently stroking his cheek, "he has to know."

"No," Arthur stubbornly said.

"You should have told him the truth about what happened to Gaius," Gwen said, gazing into Arthur's eyes, "he deserves to know."

"It would destroy him," Arthur said, his voice nothing more than a whisper, "it was for the best not to tell him."

"So you lied to him," Gwen said, letting her hand drop back to her side, "and look what that lead to. Merlin left."

"At least he blames _me_ now," Arthur simply said. He walked around Gwen and walked outside of the chamber, leaving Gwen behind.

She would have gone after him, she would have tried to make him see sense, but it would be useless. Not only was Merlin in pain and grieving, so was Arthur even though he would be unlikely to admit it.

They were all grieving.

-o-o-

"Merlin," Morgana walked towards the young sorcerer as he entered the ancient throne chamber, "how are you?"

Merlin could only stare at Morgana. Why was she so kind all of a sudden? Certainly not because he had lost Gaius. She hated him, or at least, she had hated him. Morgause would have killed the physician herself had she had the chance.

He swallowed heavily. "You wanted to see me?" He gazed from Morgana to Morgause.

"Yes," the eldest sister said, almost no emotion in her voice.

Merlin wouldn't have expected it any other way. Why would Morgause show him compassion since she learned it had been Merlin who had nearly killed her. She was still weak, her magic not having fully returned to their potential. She blamed Merlin now, but of course she could not show it. She wanted him on their side after all.

"We need you," Morgana said. She turned to look at her sister, waiting on her to say more on the matter, but her gaze slowly returned to watch Merlin, to watch his reaction.

"When you came here," the blonde sister said, "you told us Arthur doesn't know about your magic, that he doesn't know you are here."

"That's true," Merlin said, nodding. He patiently waiting on why the sisters had called for him.

The corners of Morgause's lips turned up. "Excellent," she smiled, "then Arthur still trusts you?"

"Yes," the young sorcerer simply answered.

"You must return to Camelot," Morgana spoke, "to Arthur."

Merlin frowned, but he said nothing. He waiting until someone explained them what was happening or what they expected to happen.

"You are to lead him into the forest alone," Morgause stepped closer towards Merlin as she said the words carefully, as if she wanted to make sure Merlin heard all of it, "where my sister and I will be waiting on you. When Arthur is in our hands," Morgause took in a deep breath, grinning now, "Uther will do whatever it takes to get his son back."

"And what will you demand?" Merlin asked.

"That gives up his throne," Morgana explained.

"To _you_?" he eyed the youngest sister with suspicion.

Morgana only smiled. "Trust me, Merlin," she said, "Arthur will not be harmed if he cooperates."

"Really," Merlin said, disbelief dripping from his voice. He could not imagine that Arthur would be taken as a prisoner and be treated as a Prince. HE eyes both Morgause and Morgana with suspicion.

"Are you willing to do this?" Morgana simply asked. Her eyebrows shot up, hoping to hear the answer she wanted to hear.

Merlin bit his lower lip, but slowly started to nod then. "Yes," he said, "for Gaius."

"For Gaius," Morgana said, a sad gaze in her eyes. Merlin wasn't sure if the emotion he could see in her eyes were honest, if she truly felt sorry about Gaius. Merlin pushed those thoughts away. He had made his decision a long time ago and he would stick by it.

-o-o-

Morgause sat down again, crossing her arms before her chest, a smile covering his face. Morgana remained standing as she watched the wooden doors close before her. Merlin had just left them alone again and the youngest sister felt a sense of relief. Their conversation had gone rather well. She had expected him to at least have more questions.

"Do you think he believes us?" Morgause asked.

"I do," Morgana simply answered. She still watched the closed doors.

Morgause said nothing.

"What's on your mind?" Morgana asked, noticing the sudden silence. She turned around to see her sister watching her with doubtful eyes.

"_You_," the blonde sister explained. She rose from her seat, her hands dropping to the side of her body. "You seem...very trusting of Merlin."

"He doesn't hate Arthur," Morgana simply said, not allowing any emotion to invade her voice, "that much I can see in him. He does, however, want to to see him punished. Merlin is not loyal to the Prince anymore."

"I do not trust him," Morgause said, anger in her voice as she thought back to the day where she had lost almost all of her strength.

"Neither does he trust you," Morgana said, a faint grin on her face, "but there is a chance, just the littlest chance that he might grow to trust me."

Morgause pressed her lips together, clearly holding back all of her thoughts.

"You must trust _me_, sister," Morgana assured her, "our plan will work."

"You really think Merlin can give us Arthur?" She started pacing up and down the chamber, "That he'll go through with the plan when the time has arrived? You belief he won't turn on us when he learns the truth about our plan?"

Morgana thought about the question and she couldn't honestly give a proper answer. She had a feeling in the pit of her stomach, however, that Merlin was on their side right now. Given time, he would grow milder towards the Prince, maybe even forgive him. That time, however, wasn't upon them yet.

"He'll bring Arthur to us," she said, "I know he will."

**AN: another chapter is done... It does not look well, does it? I know this story starts slowly, but soon, action will begin! **

**In the mean time, let me know what you think of this story and what do you think of the progress? Are you pleased with where this is kind of going? All comments will be taken in advice, you see... I really want this story to be a good one!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.**

**AN: (Any and all mistakes are completely my own.) **

**Thank you, all those that left a review, that made this story a favorite or placed it on their alert-list!**

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 4**

"Are you ready?"

Morgana's voice was as soft as silk and Merlin hated it. Why was she so nice when there had once been a time they would have killed each other? He looked into her eyes and read compassion, but he ignored it.

"I said I would do it," he answered, "and so I will."

"Everything will change soon," Morgana said, smiling faintly, "for the better."

"I'm not sure about that," Merlin closely watched the youngest sister's reaction, but her gaze remained soft. "You and your sister," he simply continued to speak, not allowing Morgana to reply to his statement, "you must conjure a beast."

She frowned, not understanding.

"A small one," Merlin said, "but large enough to cause panic. Uther will hear about it and he will send Arthur to kill it."

"With guards and knights," Morgana said, pointing out the one flaw in the plan.

"If it's small," Merlin explained, "Arthur won't take much reinforcement. Four guards perhaps, maybe one knight. Don't worry about them, I'll lead Arthur away from them and towards where you and Morgause are."

A smile filled Morgana's face, revealing her white teeth. Her eyes shone as if she was a little girl that had just gotten a horse for her birthday. Merlin swallowed heavily. Looking at her, he simply knew that what he was doing was wrong, and yet, he couldn't help himself.

"This will work," Morgana said, "I can feel it."

Merlin could only nod, not trusting his voice at all.

-o-o-

This was it, the moment Merlin had dreaded for hours, for days even. As soon as his hand touched the cold wood of the door, a shiver ran down his spine. Retracting his hand, he closed his eyes for a moment. He needed to stay calm and then everything would be alright.

He pushed open the door, finding the chamber almost empty. Gaius' books were still stacked in the shelves and loose papers lay scattered all over the floor. There was no table, no benches and no bed where Gaius had been sleeping in only weeks ago. He sighed deeply, not believing that he was actually back.

His gaze slid towards where he had found Gaius, not breathing. Arthur had stood over him, his hand into the old man's. Merlin had seen grief and sorrow in the Prince's eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Arthur had killed Gaius, he had told Merlin himself, and he was _sorry_ for that. A bile rose in Merlin's throat, but he swallowed it down.

He let the bag that hung over his right shoulder fall down on the ground with a soft thud. Walking towards where flasks stood, Merlin let his gaze slide towards where Gaius' personal notes lay. He had written everything he knew down and so Merlin feared for a moment that he had written about his magic. Flipping through the pages, he found nothing. Of course Gaius wouldn't have been so stupid to write information like this down.

"Merlin?"

Merlin's heart skipped a beat as he turned on his heels. He hadn't even heard anyone enter.

"Arthur," Merlin said, a sense of relief filling him when looking at the Prince. Arthur looked well, worried, but well. He quickly shook those thoughts away. He was here for a reason and it wasn't to make sure Arthur was alright.

"I didn't know you had returned," Arthur said.

He didn't smile, though, and Merlin could see that he was unsure how to talk to Merlin. The young sorcerer wished for a moment that everything could return to normal again. Of course, that was impossible.

"I'm just back," Merlin simply said.

"I know a lot is missing," Arthur said, glancing around, "I'll get everything replaced. You don't need to worry about a thing."

"It's okay," Merlin quickly said, "I can take care of myself." The words had left his lips harsher than he wanted them to. He could see Arthur swallow heavily and Merlin knew he had to say something to make all the tension between them disappear. It was the only way he could get Arthur to take him with him when word of the beast would arrive.

"I mean," he added, "thank you for wanting to do this," he looked the Prince in the eyes, "but I would rather replace things myself."

Arthur only nodded, his gloved hands folding together as he didn't know what to with them. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No," Merlin smiled, though he feared it might appear a little forced, "but I'll see you tomorrow."

A frown filled Arthur's face.

"For work," Merlin explained.

"No," the Prince said, taking a step closer towards Merlin, "you don't need to come back right away. Take all the time you need."

"I want to," Merlin assured him, "to keep my mind off of things."

Arthur said nothing, not wanting to go in against Merlin. It seemed he would truly grant his servant anything at this stage and Merlin thought for a second that he should just tell Arthur everything. He hated all this lying and secrecy. Yet, it was necessary if Merlin wanted to see the Prince punished for what he had done to Gaius. He truly needed to focus on his task.

"How is Gwen?" Merlin asked then. He was worried about her. He knew she had not only lost her mistress only weeks ago, she had lost Gaius as well and she had witnessed Merlin leaving. She had looked so...broken that it had almost changed his mind. He would have stayed just for her.

"She misses you," Arthur answered, "she was convinced you'd return, though."

Merlin smiled faintly. "I miss her, too."

-o-o-

It had been strange sleeping alone in Gaius' chambers. It wasn't like it happened before. Merlin had spent many nights without the physician nearby, but never had it been this hard. Merlin had been awake until the early morning, only having fallen asleep when he was needed to almost get up again did he want to make it to work in time.

Of course, he didn't really need to worry about that. Arthur wouldn't even be mad should he be four hours late. Merlin had gotten up in time, however. He had eaten some bread and left for Arthur's chambers then.

Arthur was already up, he was even dressed to Merlin's surprise.

"Good morning," the young sorcerer greeted him. He didn't look into the Prince's eyes, however. He couldn't, not _today_.

"Thanks for coming," Arthur only said. He watched his servant pick up some dirty clothes and collect armor that urgently needed to be cleaned. It seemed he wanted to say something, but only silence remained in the room.

Merlin couldn't stand it.

"I take it this needs to be taken care of?" Merlin asked, nodding towards the clothes and armor he was holding.

"Euhm," Arthur crossed his arms before his chest, "yes, but I can get someone else-"

"I can do it," Merlin interrupted him, "anything else?"

Arthur slowly shook his head.

"Then I'll start with these," Merlin said. He was about to leave the Prince alone in his chambers when another servant entered. The young man bowed his head in respect when facing Arthur.

"The King request your presence, Sire," the servant said, "he said it is urgent."

"Thank you," Arthur said before the servant left them alone.

"That can wait, Merlin," Arthur said, nodding towards everything the young sorcerer was holding, "let's go see what my father wants."

Merlin could only swallow heavily. He already knew what Uther would have to say and he knew what would follow next. It wasn't too late, not yet, he could still tell Arthur everything, but he didn't. His lips remained shut as he followed the Prince towards the Council Chamber.

-o-o-

"You wished to see me, father," Arthur said. He bowed his head slightly as he addressed his father for the first time.

Uther stood behind his throne, his hands resting casually in his sides. His gaze was serious, though, revealing that he was not in a calm mood. Merlin gazed into the eyes of the King, trying to see whether or not he was surprised to see if his son's servant had returned.

Had Uther even grieved Gaius' death? They had been friends for longer than 20 years. An anger rose inside Merlin's chest. He hadn't even known he was capable of feeling this.

"Arthur," Uther spoke with authority, "word has reached me that a beast has been spotted not far from the city. You must immediately seek it and kill it. The people are starting to panic."

Arthur bowed his head. "Do we know what kind of beast we are dealing with?"

"Witnesses say it is as big as a wolf with sharp teeth that can tore through anything," Uther said, "but that it is slow."

"I will take a knight with me," Arthur told his father, "and four guards. That should be enough."

"Good," Uther said, "you'll leave immediately."

Arthur bowed his head a final time and left his father alone in the Council Chamber. Once the wooden doors were closed behind them, the Prince turned to look at his servant.

"You don't have to come," he said.

"Of course I have to," Merlin protested, "I'm your servant. I have to be at your side." The words tore through Merlin's chest, making his heart ache. He hadn't even been aware he could lie this well to the Prince.

Arthur smiled faintly and let his hand rest on Merlin's shoulder. "I'm glad you're back."

"Me too," Merlin said, feeling as if the words were venom. He simply couldn't wait until all this was over. Watching the Prince walk outside onto the main court, Merlin followed heavily.

This was truly it, no turned back...

**AN: this is it for today! How do you all like where this is going? Will Merlin follow through with the plan? Will he choose Arthur's side again or will be join the sisters in the capture of the Prince. And what truly happened to Gaius? You'll soon find out...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.**

**AN: (Any and all mistakes are completely my own.) **

**Thank you, all those that left a review, that made this story a favorite or placed it on their alert-list!**

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 5**

Merlin could feel how his legs trembled, how his hands shook and how every breath he took, hurt. He didn't know whether it was because of the imminent betrayal he was about to commit or because of the freezing cold that surrounded them. Everything lay white. The leaves of the trees, the grass, broken branches on the ground. It was as if the snow covered everything with a protective blanket.

"Keep up, Merlin," Arthur called out.

It was the first noise that sounded through the forest. Merlin hadn't even realized how quiet everything had been. No birds, no animals, not even the breathing of the guards that only walked a few feet before him.

Merlin hurried forward, quickly passing the four guards. It was a small hunting party. Arthur had only ordered four guard since the witnesses had described the beast as not too big and rather slow. A Knight had joined them as well which was the main concern for Merlin.

Lancelot had always been his friend and now that Gaius was...gone, he was the only person in Camelot who knew about his magic. It was strange, but that knowledge comforted the young sorcerer somehow.

"Be careful, Merlin," Lancelot warned him as he walked by his side, "we are getting close to where the beast has last been seen."

Merlin suppressed the urge the say 'I know'. He shouldn't know and so he pressed his lips together. It still wasn't too late, though. He could tell Lancelot everything, he could warn Arthur about the trap. Yet, he did no such thing. His heart raced inside his chest and even though it was freezing, Merlin felt warm.

"There!" Arthur called out. He pointed to their left and immediately ran after what could only have been the beast he had seen. Lancelot was quick as well, sprinting forward and disappearing between the white trees.

Merlin turned around, watching how the guards were about to do the same. He knew they could never reach Arthur or Lancelot and so he raised his arm, his fingers towards the four guards.

"_El Prya dorma su_," Merlin's voice was low, almost inaudible. The effects of his magic reached the guards immediately, however, as they fell down, their eyes shut. They hadn't even realized what had been coming for them. Nothing could wake them now and they would only wake up somewhere late this evening. They would feel cold, but nothing they wouldn't survive. Merlin gazed around. They were in forest, though. There were animals here, wild wolves even. They would kill those guards instantly.

"_Drai vo lliana_," Merlin said, his fingers pointing towards the guards again. Now nothing could touch them until they would wake up. The young sorcerer turned around now and ran towards where he had last seen the Prince. Jumping over low hanging branches, avoiding leaves hitting his face and making sure he wouldn't trip over rocks that now lay hidden underneath the snow, Merlin reached a open patch of green grass.

He quickly came to a halt. He still stood in the shadows of the forest, knowing that no person could see him there. He watched how Arthur stood completely still in the center of the little open field.

Everything lay white, except for where Arthur had stepped.

"_You_," the Prince hissed as he watched someone Merlin couldn't see yet. Arthur's face was half hidden from Merlin, but he could still see the horror in his eyes.

"Not pleased to see me, _Brother_?" Morgana stepped outside of the shadows. Her hand was raised, pointing towards Arthur. She was clearly using magic to hold him in place. Merlin could only wonder where Morgause was. Surely she would be around.

"You are not my sister," Arthur spat. Anger and hate rose in his chest, his eyes brilliant with every emotion that now flooded through him.

"Well done, my Sister." Morgause smiled as she stepped out of the shadows as well. Her light blue coat seemed to illuminate her blonde hair, but she looked more fragile than ever. The snow made her face appear pale, almost colorless.

It seemed she was the exact opposite of her younger sister. Morgana's black hair stood bright against the dark red coat she was wearing, a blush covering her cheeks. She smiled when seeing her sister approach her.

Merlin swallowed heavily. He should be fighting the sisters, not watching them capture the Prince.

"We would never have succeeded alone," Morgana said, her smile having disappeared. Her gaze spotted the horizon, looking for something...or someone.

Merlin.

The young sorcerer made no move to reveal himself. Not yet, at least. He wanted to see what Arthur would say next, what his thoughts were.

"No," the Prince exhaled sharply, "no guard would betray me, no Knight would!"

Merlin balled his hands. Of course Arthur would think about them first. The thought of his servant would never come to him. Arthur didn't even consider him capable of such a thing. It only made Merlin...furious.

"I am neither of them." Merlin was surprised by the strength of his own voice, by the bitterness it held. He stepped into the open field, watching how the sisters' gaze fell upon him.

"No," Arthur couldn't turn his head as Morgana's magic still held him in place, "no!"

Merlin stepped forward until he stood a few feet before the Prince. He saw how all the anger and hate had disappeared from Arthur's gaze. Only sorrow and...hurt was now visible in his eyes. Merlin pressed his lips together. He was doing this, he was making Arthur feel like this. He could still end this, fight the sisters and get Arthur away from here, but he didn't move. What Arthur felt, the betrayal, the hurt, it was exactly how Merlin felt.

"Why?" Arthur asked. His voice was soft, not a faint trace of anger audible.

"You killed him!" Merlin yelled. How could Arthur even dare ask why! Was he that ignorant? That...idiotic?

"Whatever they promised you, Merlin," Arthur spoke more loudly now, "they are empty promises. They won't bring back Gaius."

"I know," Merlin simply said, "he's...dead. You killed him, remember?"

"Then why? Arthur spoke softer again.

"Because of you," Merlin said, he stepped towards the sisters, joining them. There was no turning back and Merlin gave in. He was tired of the pretenses and he simply wanted to be furious, to be angry at the world and see it burn. He had given everything for everyone. He had given his life for that Prince more than once and what did he get? Not even a _thank you_ or some simply gratitude. He got death, he lost Gaius.

"You acted as if nothing happened," Merlin said, speaking softly, "like Gaius never existed. He was my friend, my mentor, my...father. You killed him, not even giving me a chance to find him a cure!"

"He was dying," Arthur said, swallowing heavily, "he was suffering."

"Don't you dare say you did him a favor!" Merlin yelled. He gazed into Arthur's eyes, refusing to look away. "I made my choice," he said, more calmly again, "and I stand behind it."

Arthur cast his gaze down, appearing defeated and torn apart. Merlin looked to his right, to Morgana, watching her smile. Morgause stood behind her, her hand on her shoulder. She too appeared pleased, but Merlin didn't care. He didn't care about the sisters' feelings, he only cared that finally, he felt free. He was allowed to be who he truly was.

"We have another guest," Morgause announced rather smugly, still looking at Arthur, "you'll have company during your imprisonment."

Merlin's gaze widened. How could he have forgotten?

"Bring him forward!" Morgause ordered.

Two men appeared from the shadows, in between them...Lancelot.

The young sorcerer swallowed heavily. He should have made sure he was out of the way as well.

Looking at the Knight, he could see an exact copy of Arthur's emotions. Betrayal, sorrow, sadness, anger and disbelief. Merlin couldn't begin to imagine how Lancelot was handling all this. Had he heard everything that had been said between Arthur and Merlin? Did he know what this was all about?

Judging by the look on his face, he had heard everything.

"Lock him in the dungeons," Morgana said, referring to Lancelot. She still had one arm raised. "Make sure he does not escape."

The two men holding Lancelot only nodded.

"I will look after my _brother_," she continued saying, her voice a sneer as she said that last word.

Merlin watched how she raised her other arm, her both hands now pointed towards the Prince. Her eyes flashed golden and Arthur fell down, unconscious. Lancelot tried to break free from the guards' grip, but it was to no avail. They were captured and Merlin did nothing to help them.

**AN: He did it, he actually allowed the sisters to capture not only Arthur, but Lancelot as well... I guess you are going to have to read the next chapter to find out what happens next. Don't worry, though, I will write as fast as the wind and chapter 6 will be posted somewhere next week!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.**

**AN: (Any and all mistakes are completely my own.) **

**MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! (or as we say it in Dutch; GELUKKIG KERSTFEEST)**

**Thank you, all those that left a review, that made this story a favorite or placed it on their alert-list! I hope you didn't find the wait for a next chapter too long.**

**Here we go...**

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 6**

Entering the big and cold castle was different this time. Merlin didn't feel a shudder run down the back of his neck and down his spine. He felt nothing at all really. Closing the doors behind him, a darkness filled the entrance hall. As if the candles sensed there needed to be light, they burst into life.

The young sorcerer stepped forward towards another heavy wooden door. Stepping through it, he reached the long hall that could lead into another dozen chambers. A lot of them were not used and stood empty, only dust inside. At the far end of the hall, one torch was burning wildly. Merlin's eyes needed a moment to adjust to the shadows, but he could clearly see how the last door was shut. He didn't remember that room being used and so he walked forward, crossing the long hallway slowly.  
A high cry, filled with agony, seared through the air.

Every hair on Merlin's body rose, goosebumps clearly visible on his arms. He could recognize that cry everywhere. He quickened his pace and started running down until he stood before the closed door. As soon as his hand touched the latch, a shock of warmth shot up his arm. The doorknob was hot, not allowing anyone to touch it.

Another cry.

"I'm sorry, Merlin."

The young sorcerer turned on his heels. Morgana stood behind him, her hands intertwined with each other. She no longer wore her red coat for outside. In stead, she was wearing a long emerald green dress that seemed to embrace her body. Her long black curls lay loosely around her shoulders and for the first time, she honestly showed compassion.

"What is happening in there?" Merlin demanded to know. "What is Morgause doing to Arthur?"

"Did you truly believe that we would capture Arthur and treat him...civilized?" Morgana's hands parted as she took a step towards Merlin. "You can't be that naive, Merlin."

"You promised me he wouldn't get hurt." Merlin could hear the coldness in his voice.

"If he cooperated, yes," Morgana nodded as she spoke, her curls jumping up and down around her still blushing face, "he's not cooperating."

"You don't want Uther to give up his throne," Merlin understood now and he couldn't believe that he had trusted the sisters this easily, "what is you truly want?"

"His death," Morgana sneered, hatred visible in her eyes, "Uther murdered all those innocent people. Do you not think he deserves to get punished for that?"

Merlin didn't answer. The King had truly destroyed hundreds of lives, perhaps even thousands should you count the families that were torn apart with grief. Did he deserve death? Certainly, but Merlin knew it wasn't his choice to make who lived and who died.

"What do you want from Arthur?" Merlin simply asked.

Another cry filled the halls of the castle. Another shudder crossed Merlin's neck and back. He had done this, he had given the Prince to the sisters. Surely he should have known they would not treat him _like_ a Prince. Merlin even started to believe Morgana hated Arthur as much as she hated Uther.

"There is a secret passageway into the castle," Morgana explained, "only the Prince and the King know where it is."

"And if Arthur tells you..." Merlin understood everything now.

"We will invade the castle and kill Uther once and for all," Morgana's body tensed at that thought. "He lied to me, Merlin," it seemed she wanted the young sorcerer to understand, "he's my father and he lied to me. He always talks about how important family is to him, how important Arthur is for the future, but never did he think about me."

"So this is jealousy?" Merlin's voice shot up into the air. "You're jealous of Arthur?"

Morgana pressed her lips together, swallowing heavily. "Arthur will do anything to please Uther," she spoke, softly again, "he hates magic as much as the King does. I can change all that, I can allow magic to return. You would never have to lie about who you truly are, Merlin."

Merlin was lost for words. Not having to lie anymore was something he had always looked forward to. All of his life, he had to hide, pretend he was clumsy and weak. He was sick of it!

"Come with me," Morgana smiled faintly, extending her hand and waiting on Merlin to take it, "you don't need to hear this."

Another cry. Another shudder.

He could not stand these thoughts and emotions. Merlin took her hand into his and looked her in the eye, trying to see what she was thinking right now. He could only see her smile more broadly, however.

Morgana said nothing for a long second until she turned around, walking away from the chamber where Arthur was being tortured. Gently, she pulled Merlin along with her, still holding onto his hand and Merlin allowed her to do so.

He would do anything not to hear Arthur anymore.

-o-o-

Merlin was pacing up and down the chamber where he had been hiding for over an hour already. Ever since Arthur had been taken back to the dungeons, Merlin had been in here, not wanting to be around Morgana for the moment. He had heard the Prince had appeared...exhausted, but Merlin could not bring himself to go down to dungeons and see for himself.

He simply could not face Arthur...yet.

The doors of the chamber opened then, two guards entering. They each held an arm of Lancelot and brutally forced him to kneel down.

"You can leave us," Merlin said to the guards, still finding it odd that he was the one giving the orders in stead of receiving them, "he won't harm me."

The guards nodded and left them alone, though Merlin knew they were right outside. There was not a chance in hell they would leave Merlin completely alone with Lancelot. Morgause did not trust the young sorcerer at all and she would hate the idea of him alone in a chamber with Lancelot.

"What are you doing, Merlin?" Lancelot asked. His hands were tied before him and he was still kneeling down. He did not fear the young sorcerer at all.

"Get up," Merlin said, more a request than an order, "please."

Lancelot pushed himself up so that he stood opposite of the young sorcerer, only a few feet between them and so Merlin took a step back. He was careful not to show any emotion, but he knew he was failing.

"What are you doing?" Lancelot asked again.

Merlin shook his head. "I don't know," he admitted.

"Then why are you doing this?" the knight asked.

Merlin sighed, casting his gaze down.

"Don't tell it's because of Gaius," Lancelot said, his voice hard, "he's turning in his grave right now."

Merlin's eyes shot up to meet those of Lancelot. He was the one tied down and yet, he had more bravery than Merlin. He dared speaking his mind while the young sorcerer never knew what to say or do.

"I guess I was tired," Merlin told him, trying to understand everything himself, "tired of having to hide, to pretend."

"So you join _them_?" Lancelot's voice was nothing more than a sneer when referring to the sisters.

Merlin's face was a mask now, not betraying any emotion. "I was angry," he admitted, "_furious_ with Arthur. They seemed my only option."

"That's very easy, Merlin," Lancelot said harshly, "pretending not to have another choice. You always have another choice!"

"It's too late now," the young sorcerer threw his arms into the air, "I betrayed him, I betrayed you. Why aren't you more angry? Why aren't you yelling and screaming at me?"

"Because I still believe in you," Lancelot simply said, as if it were the most simple answer, "I do, Merlin."

"_What_?" Merlin couldn't believe his ears.

"You're still the same Merlin," Lancelot explained, "always doubting yourself. You decided to betray us and still you doubt that decision. You won't be here for very much longer," Lancelot took a step forward, "you're already regretting what you have done and you'll help us escape in the end."

Merlin said nothing. How could Lancelot believe this so easily? Did Merlin truly appear this doubtful? This...weak?

"The witches," Lancelot continued to speak, "they want power. You don't want that."

"And how do you know?" Merlin asked, his voice cold and distant.

"Because you asked me to stand," Lancelot took in a deep breath, "you don't like people bowing for you, kneeling for you. You don't want power, but I do understand you when you say that you want recognition."

"And how would you know that?" Merlin asked, his voice still cold. It seemed Lancelot knew more about Merlin that Merlin did himself.

"Having to hide your whole life," Lancelot spoke softly, "not being able to tell a soul about your magic. It must be lonely."

Merlin pressed his lips together. He wanted to prove Lancelot wrong, but how could he when everything he said was the truth. His fingers itched to make Lancelot stop talking, but he remained motionless, consumed by every word the Knight spoke.

"Gaius was the only one that knew _you_," Lancelot took another step closer to the sorcerer, "the real you and he was the only one you could trust no matter what. And then Arthur killed him. I understand your hate and anger, but is worth the downfall of Camelot? Do you truly believe Arthur will not be a good King?"

Merlin bit his lower lip. Why could he not come up with a proper response? With something to shut Lancelot up.

The doors of the chamber suddenly burst open. The two guards entered again, this time, Morgause stood before them.

"Take him away," she sneered, nodding towards Lancelot, "he does not leave his cell unless I say so!"

The guards nodded. Taking Lancelot's arms, they pulled him outside. Morgause turned and with a wave of her arm, the wooden doors closed behind them. She slowly gazed at Merlin, anger in her eyes.

"What is going on, Merlin?" she asked. Her voice was so soft, so gentle as if she was truly hurt that Merlin had been talking to Lancelot behind her back.

"Nothing," Merlin simply said. He was surprised to find it to be easy to lie to her. He felt nothing for her, no trust, no loyalty. Only coldness, as if there was a distance between them that could never disappear. Perhaps it had something to do with Merlin having almost killed her.

Yet, he had almost killed Morgana once and he did not feel the coldness towards her.

"Why did you summon him?" the eldest sister wanted to know. She took a step closer towards the young sorcerer.

"I assure you," his voice was sharp, "it was nothing."

Morgause did not smile, she was not amused at all. "I'm watching you closely, Merlin," was all she said.

Merlin only nodded. He could not care less about Morgause's watchful eyes. He did not want her trust and he certainly wasn't loyal to her. It seemed, however, that it was time for Merlin to chose, to truly chose which side he was one.

He could not keep friends in both camps. He was unable to protect Lancelot from harm and be on Morgana's side.

Merlin knew now that he needed to show his loyalty to _someone_ before he would be considered a traitor on both sides...

**AN: Another chapter is done. I hope it satisfied everyone. I am trying to have Merlin evolve into the person he is now in stead of just turning him bad or good again. He has to make choices that will change everything...so what will he chose to do next?**

**You'll find out soon!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.**

**AN: (Any and all mistakes are completely my own.) **

**Thank you, all those that left a review, that made this story a favorite or placed it on their alert-list!**

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 7**

The stone walls were damp and the air was hard to breathe. Merlin slowly descended the stairwell that would lead him into the dungeons. It was dark, only two torches were burning to illuminate the entire hallway that stretched out before Merlin. He swallowed heavily, squinting his eyes as he tried to see more clearly.

There were at least a dozen cells down here, but Merlin knew only two doors were locked. Iron bars allowed anyone to gaze inside the cells...and to gaze out.

The young sorcerer stood perfectly still on the last stair, only his chest moving up and down as he breathed rather shallow. It seemed as if he couldn't get enough air into his system and all his senses had gone numb.

"Who is there?" a voice called out. There was movement inside the cell closest to Merlin. "Is that you, Morgana?" Arthur called out. "Have you come to mock me?"

Merlin still didn't move.

"Show yourself!" Arthur demanded. There was more movement inside the cell and Merlin could suddenly see two hands folding around the iron bars. "Morgana!"

"She's not here," Merlin said. There was barely any emotion in his voice. He stepped down the last stair and towards the cell. The light of the nearest torch cast a long shadow on Merlin's face. Arthur could see him, though, and he pressed his lips together. It seemed he was holding back every thought he had and Merlin wished he would just tell him what a coward he was.

"Morgana would never come down here," Merlin said, "too filthy."

"That's true," Arthur simply said. He released the bars of his cell and took a step away from Merlin. "What do you want?" he asked.

Merlin shook his head. "I don't know."

"Then why are you here?" Arthur's voice grew colder every second, annoyance in his voice.

"Perhaps I wanted to see this," Merlin said, referring to the cell where Arthur was in, "see what I have done."

Arthur chuckled without humor. "And here I was, thinking you would never dare showing your face to me again."

"I might be a coward," Merlin said, "but I wouldn't just turn my back on everything and everyone."

"That's exactly what you did, though," Arthur sneered, "you turned your back on your friends, on your family!"

"Because I have so few family?" Merlin asked, his voice high. He took a step towards the cell of Arthur, wanting to see every inch of his face, "and how would that be?" Anger rose in his chest again. Why was it he could never stay in control of his emotions? Arthur seemed able to do so.

"I can understand, Merlin," the Prince said, "that you feel as if you lost everything-"

"Like you know," Merlin snapped, "you have everything! You're the bloody Prince of Camelot."

"And here I thought you knew me," Arthur said through pursed lips.

"I thought so as well," Merlin said, shrugging his shoulders, "and then you killed Gaius."

Arthur said nothing.

"Say something," Merlin grabbed the iron bars of Arthur's cell, his knuckles turning white, "make me hate you because I am trying so hard!"

"You don't hate me?" Arthur asked, his voice surprisingly soft. It seemed he found it hard to believe that Merlin did not hate him. He remained motionless, waiting on Merlin to say something else.

The young sorcerer took in deep breaths, trying to calm himself. "I would let you rot down here if I did," Merlin said, his voice hard, "so make me hate you."

"No," Arthur said, "that would make all this too easy for you."

"You must hate _me_," Merlin said, looking into the Prince's eyes, "I betrayed you. Lancelot is in here because of me. You got tortured because of me."

"I don't hate you," Arthur said, though his voice was cold, "because again, that would make all this too easy for you. Not feeling anything but rage and hate, that's easy. Feeling rage and hate and sadness, doubt and all of those things, that makes life hard."

Merlin shook his head. "You would kill me if you had the chance," he said, "I can see it in your eyes. You would kill, like you killed Gaius."

"You're my friend," Arthur said.

"That didn't stop you from killing Gaius!"

"I didn't kill him!" Arthur yelled. He started pacing up and down his little cell. "He was my friend, I have known him my entire life! I would never take his life!"

"Stop!" Merlin felt how his breath was caught inside his chest. "Don't lie to me," he said, remaining calm...cold.

"I'm not lying," Arthur sighed after having taken in a deep breath, "I never touched him."

Merlin took a step away from the cell. How could Arthur even dare say such a thing. How could he lie so easily? Did he honestly believe Merlin was that stupid? Did he think he could talk his way out of this? Merlin pressed his lips together, feeling the tips of his fingers go numb.

"Tell Morgana what she wants to know, tell her where the entrance of the passageway is," he simply said, "or you will get tortured until death."

He turned around and left the dungeons. He did not want to know what else Arthur wanted to tell him, what other lies he would try to make him believe.

Arthur still treated him like his servant, like he was a naive and idiotic man. Merlin despised it, he despised everything! He swallowed the bile that rose in his throat, and he ran up the stairs.

"Merlin?"

He had nearly bumped into Morgana.

"Take Arthur," Merlin said, "he won't hold out much longer. He'll tell you where the secret entrance into the castle is."

A grin filled her face. "Had a good talk?"

"It opened my eyes," Merlin simply said and then he continued walking, not looking back. He had made his decision and for the first time, he did not regret it. He was no longer on Arthur's side.

-o-o-

_:. 18 days ago :._

"I can find him a cure." Merlin was pacing up and down the Prince's chamber. His thoughts were racing in his head.

"8 people died in that village, Merlin," Arthur said. He stood by the window, his arms crossed before his chest. He sighed deeply as he watched his servant before him. They were both feeling desperate. "Gaius never found a cure."

"There must be something," Merlin said, refusing to believe in the Prince's words, "I have to do something!" He had already tried so much, though. He had given Gaius every cure that existed. The physician hadn't gotten better. Merlin had even used magic trying to heal him, but not even that had worked. Merlin felt his eyes sting. He needed some rest, not having slept at all these last few days. He couldn't, however, not as long as Gaius was still sick.

"Merlin, this is out of our hands," Arthur sighed, "we must consider ourselves lucky that no one else has gotten ill yet."

Merlin took in deep breaths. "Give me time," he came to a halt before the Prince, "I'll find that cure." He turned on his heels and stormed out of the chamber.

"_Merlin_!" Arthur called out. The young servant was gone, however, and Arthur could only swallow heavily. Merlin was about to do something stupid, Arthur could feel it.

-o-o-

_:. 17 days ago .:_

The chamber was so very quiet. Arthur didn't dare stepping further into the room. It wasn't that he was afraid of catching the illness, he just didn't want to wake Gaius. It seemed he was in a deep sleep, but as soon as he took another step closer to the physician, his eyes fluttered open. They revealed the gaze of an old and sick man. It was hard to see him like this. Arthur had known Gaius his entire life and always had he seemed to be a strong man.

Now he was thin, his skin almost translucent and his eyes having fallen deep into their sockets.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," Arthur apologized.

"It's quiet alright," Gaius tried to smile, but he simply couldn't. Coughing loudly, he covered his mouth with a small towel. Red stains already covered the linen and Arthur could only swallow heavily.

"You promised, Arthur," Gaius whispered.

"Merlin says he can find you a cure," Arthur said, trying to give the physician hope, "he seems very determined."

"I know," Gaius said, "he won't find a cure though. He has already tried so many things..." Gaius trailed off, lost in his thoughts.

"Gaius?" Arthur asked.

The physician's eyes shot up, looking into the Prince's eyes.

"You promised," he repeated, "please. Merlin is suffering with me. He can't save me and every day he is growing more desperate. I fear he might do something irrational."

"He just wants to help you," Arthur defended his servant. He actually admired what Merlin was doing. He never lost hope, wanted to believe that anything was still possible.

"As every days passes," Gaius coughed again, "I can see Merlin's heart break a little more. I am causing him more pain than ever and I refuse to do so any longer."

"Merlin cares for you," Arthur took a step closer to Gaius, "you are like his father. He can't just let you...die."

"Exactly," Gaius nodded, "that's why I need to do this."

Arthur swallowed heavily. "There is no turning back after this."

"I will die soon enough," Gaius sighed, "it will be a long and painful death. Merlin does not need to see that. I am trying to protect him, Arthur, and I know you want to do the same."

Arthur said nothing. Of course he wanted to protect Merlin. He wasn't just his servant, he was his friend. Gaius was his friend as well and could he truly ignore a dying man's last wish? He slowly nodded his head.

"Thank you," Gaius smiled, this time, it was convincing. "That bottle there," he pointed to a small flask with a yellow substance in it.

"What will it do?" Arthur asked as he grabbed it of the shelve.

"What it won't do, is hurt," Gaius assured the Prince. "Take care of Merlin, Arthur," he said, needing to know that the man he considered to be his son would not end up alone, "he will need you."

Arthur handed over the small flask, immediately stepping back. Gaius gazed at the flask for a short moment and then looked at the Prince again. "I have lived a full life," he coughed wildly again, a grimace covering his face, "tell Merlin that I love him, that he is the son I never had."

Arthur only nodded, not trusting his voice anymore. He watched how the old physician drank empty the flask. Gaius let his head fall back onto the pillow, his hands still clutching the flask. His eyes closed and Arthur closely watched how Gaius' breathing slowed until it fully stopped. It was truly over...Gaius was gone.

"Rest in peace," the Prince whispered, refusing to let any tears roll down his cheek, "you have deserved it."

He stepped forward again, taking the flask from Gaius' hands. Turning around, he knew the hardest part still had to come. How could he ever tell Merlin that Gaius had killed himself. That he had done so because he wanted to protect Merlin, because he could no longer watch his ward suffer with him? Merlin would not be able to understand, he wouldn't be able to cope with Gaius' death, knowing that Gaius had killed himself for Merlin's sake.

No, Arthur thought, it was best if the young servant didn't know. Arthur had promised to protect him and so he would. He would lie and take the blame. He would tell Merlin that he had no other choice and that the disease could not have been allowed to spread.

Arthur still held the empty flask in his hand. He gazed at it as he walked through the halls of the castle. He was certain of it now. Merlin could never learn the truth about Gaius' death. It would destroy him.

**AN: another chapter done. I hope you all enjoyed it and that it brought some answers. It seems now that Arthur's decision might have been the one he will most regret in his life... But what else will happen? You'll find out soon...**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.**

**AN: (Any and all mistakes are completely my own.) **

**Thank you, all those that left a review, that made this story a favorite or placed it on their alert-list!**

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 8**

For what seemed to be hours, Merlin was alone in his chamber. He had watched the sun set over the white landscape and almost immediately, a cold had settled into the room. He didn't mind, however. It was as if he could not feel the cold. Or he refused to feel it.

Two soft knocks on his door.

"Enter," Merlin said.

It was Morgana who entered and she carefully closed the door behind her. She folded her hands carefully before her, her gaze serious as she looked Merlin's into his eyes.

"I came to see how you are," she said, "I was worried."

"Really?" Merlin found it strange to hear her say those words. Why would she be worried.

"It can't be easy for you, Merlin," she explained, "finding yourself in this situation."

"And what makes you think that?" Merlin asked.

He turned his back towards Morgana, gazing out of his window again. It might be dark outside, but he could still she the contours of the trees, the moon and the stars. It seemed so peaceful out there and Merlin longed for a moment where he could feel like that.

"Because it is freezing in here," Morgana said, "are you trying to punish yourself?"

Merlin turned back to her. He lifted his hand towards the fire place and spoke a few words in the ancient language. "_Drai incendia_." A fire came alive out of nowhere, filling the room with instant warmth.

"Arthur still refuses to say where the entrance is," Morgana said, noticing she wouldn't get Merlin to talk about anything else. "He laughed in our faces."

"What else did you expect?" Merlin said. He leaned against the wall, his arms loosely next to his body. "Arthur isn't just going to break," he said, "he is trained to endure torture."

"That's why I'm here," Morgana said, "I have come to ask for your help."

Merlin laughed without humor. He had not thought this moment would come so soon. The sisters would never come to ask for his help unless they were getting desperate.

"Ask Arthur where the entrance is," Morgana said, "show him you are truly on our side. He still believes there is hope for you. We need to crush it."

Merlin looked Morgana in the eyes. He knew there was more to this. The sisters might want to know where the entrance is, they also wanted to see where Merlin's loyalty lay. How could he show them his loyalty when he didn't even know yet where that loyalty lay.

-o-o-

Merlin took in a deep breath. He stood in the center of a large and long chamber. It was only early in the morning and Merlin felt tired. He had not slept at all last night as Morgana's words had kept repeating themselves in his head.

They wanted Merlin to crush all hope Arthur still had, but could the sorcerer truly do so? The thought of Gaius returned to his mind. Arthur claimed not to have killed the physician and yet, weeks ago, he had told Merlin this himself.

What game was the Prince playing? Did he honestly believe he could still control Merlin?

Merlin sighed. He gazed up at the large windows that were at either side of him. They allowed sunlight to enter the chamber, casting everything into an orange glow. It wouldn't be long now and so he waited another few seconds.

The doors opened, two guards entered. They each held an arm of Arthur as they dragged him forward. They came to a halt when they were a few yards away from him. Kicking the back of the Prince's leg, they forced him to kneel down. Only now did Merlin see Morgana stood behind Arthur. She smiled when seeing Merlin.

The young sorcerer gazed up then, knowing Morgause was close as well. Watching the little balcony in the far corner, he caught a glimpse of her blue robe. He ignored her presence, however, focusing on Arthur.

Th Prince looked furious, his face red with anger.

"Look at you," Arthur hissed, "all great and powerful."

"Leave us," Merlin ordered the guards. They looked at Morgana for conformation and when she nodded, they left, closing the doors behind them.

Merlin gazed into the Prince's eyes, refusing to look away first. He knew hat he was doing and he would doubt himself or his decisions. Here he was respected, he was acknowledged for who he was. What did Arthur truly know about him?

"You know why you are here," Merlin said. He was surprised by the strength of his own voice. It actually felt good to feel like this, to not care he was talking to a Prince. "Where is the entrance of the passageway?"

"What, Merlin?" Arthur asked, still on his knees, "don't tell me you are going to be the one to murder my father? I never considered you could be a killer."

"I could be many things," Merlin said, "for example, did you ever think I could be a traitor?"

Arthur pressed his lips together.

"Of course not," Merlin continued to speak, "you only considered me to be your servant."

"You know that's not true," Arthur sighed.

They were still looking into each other's eyes. It had almost become a staring contest.

"Of course," Merlin admitted, "I thought you were my friend as well for a while. That was until you murdered Gaius."

"I didn't murder him," Arthur said, closing his eyes. It seemed he was slowly giving in, growing tired of all this.

"No, no," Merlin chuckled without humor, "Gaius just mysteriously died when you were with him. That does make a lot of sense."

"You know nothing," Arthur said, his voice hard and loud, "you are here, thinking you are aware of everything while you don't even know the truth!"

"What truth?" Merlin demanded to know, his voice loud as well. He cared little for the fact that Morgana and Morgause were present as well and could hear every word that was spoken.

"He killed himself!" Arthur yelled.

Merlin pressed his lips together. He looked at Morgana who stood perfectly still behind Arthur. It was clear that she wanted to give the young sorcerer the space and time to handle this situation. It seemed she trusted in Merlin to get what they needed.

"I am not an idiot," Merlin said, softer now, "despite what you might think. I do not believe you."

"I call what you are doing right now quiet idiotic," Arthur sneered.

"Where is the entrance," Merlin demanded to know, "tell me." He refused to believe a word the Prince was telling him about Gaius and he refused to listen to another lie about him. Why would Gaius even want to kill himself when Merlin had promised him he would find him a cure?

"No," Arthur simply said.

"Tell me this, Arthur," Merlin said, biting down on his lower lip, "do you think I am weak?"

Arthur seemed taken aback by that question.

"I'll take that as a yes," Merlin said.

"No," Arthur quickly said. "I don't think you are weak!"

"Then tell me," Merlin took a step closer to the Prince, "do you think I am stupid."

"You know I don't," the Prince answered. "You want to know what I think? I think you're looking for excuses. You want to be here, you want to give in to all your hate and anger and you're using me as your excuse. You're not weak, not stupid, only _sad_."

Merlin felt his breathing quicken. His hands balled into fists. He looked at Morgana again, watching her grin. This was what she wanted: tension. Merlin did not hate her for it. If anything, he was grateful to her for allowing him this chance to talk to Arthur and show him what he truly wanted.

He wanted him to know...everything. He only needed a reason.

"_Sad_," he repeated, "perhaps. Angry and hateful, enraged, annoyed, resentful. I could go on like this for a while, but all those things, I feel them because of you."

"What do you want me to say?" Arthur asked. "It won't make anything better, will it?"

"You could try," Merlin said. He took another step closer towards Arthur. Morgana moved to stand by his side, smiling now, content with how everything was going. She gazed down at the Prince, pleased by the position he was in.

"I won't beg for my life," Arthur told them, "and I won't tell you where the entrance is. I would rather die."

"You'll get your wish," Morgana spoke. She looked at Merlin to see ho he would react to her statement, but he only gazed at Arthur.

"What are you without her," Arthur suddenly asked, looking Merlin in the eyes, "if you didn't have Morgana, where would you be?"

"She understood me," Merlin explained, looking at the youngest sister, "she helped me in more ways than you can imagine."

Everything was becoming clear now and Merlin understood where his loyalty lay now. He looked Morgana in the eyes before returning to look at Arthur.

"I was wrong, Merlin," Arthur said, anger in his eyes, "you are _weak_."

"_Johma capri belghoth_," Merlin yelled. His eyes flashed golden and Arthur flew backwards. Landing back on the floor near the end of the chamber, he remained motionless. Morgana slowly stepped forward towards her half brother and kneeled down next to him.

Merlin remained absolutely motionless. His breathing slowed down again and a strange sense of harmony filled him. His worries seemed to disappear. He had chosen where his loyalty lay and he refused to second guess himself. He was with Morgana, with Morgause, and against Arthur who finally would know the complete truth about him.

"He'll live," Morgana stated as she stood up again. She looked over her shoulder towards Merlin. "That was impressive," Morgana smiled.

Merlin returned the smile.

**AN: I'm sorry, I just had to do this. I always had this scene in my thoughts and it was this that caused me to write this entire story. I wanted Merlin angry and against Arthur and I think I succeeded, didn't I? **

**Bu what are you thoughts? Do you think I went over the top with the whole scene?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.**

**AN: (Any and all mistakes are completely my own.) **

**Thank you, all those that left a review. I was amazed by all the response. It seems you really liked the last part of the previous chapter... So here is the next one!**

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 9**

The morning was still young, but Morgana was already awake. She didn't sleep much at all these past few days, but she didn't feel tired either. If anything, she felt like she was more alive than ever even though she could not quiet say why.

Perhaps it was because after months, she was finally getting close to her end goal. Arthur was locked away in her dungeon, as was Lancelot, and they had gained a rather powerful ally in Merlin.

_Merlin_. How could she not have seen the signs? It annoyed her that she had never known, that she had never seen it. He has magic, he always knew what Morgana was going through and he had tried to help her. The youngest sister understood that now. She didn't feel abandoned by him, on the contrary, she felt as if there was finally a person in her life that knew what she had been going through.

Merlin had been forced to hide his entire life and so had she. They were more alike than they would ever admit to each other.

Turning into another hallway, she noticed the soft light coming from underneath Merlin's door. The sun had not even peaked over the horizon yet and so it must be fire burning in the fireplace that was casting the glow.

Morgana went to stand before the wooden door, turning her head slightly so that she could hear what was happening inside. There was no sound, however, except for the cracking of the fire. Morgana didn't know what this meant. Was Merlin asleep?

She exhaled sharply. She shouldn't intrude like this. She should give the young sorcerer some time to process everything that had happened. Last night had been quiet eventful after all.

She couldn't help herself, however, and knocked softly on the wood. Only a second later come the young sorcerer's voice, calling her inside. Morgana pushed open the door to find the fire wildly alive, making the room nicely warm.

Merlin stood by the closed window, his arms crossed before his chest and his one shoulder leaning against the stone wall. He was gazing outside, but as Morgana closed the door behind her, he slowly turned to look her in the eyes.

"Is everything alright?" Morgana heard herself ask, her voice soft. She could see the worry in Merlin's eyes. He would never admit it, but it wasn't very difficult to read him. Every emotion he experienced, every thought that crossed his mind, was visible in his eyes.

Merlin only remained silent, turning his gaze back to the outside world.

"You did what you had to do," Morgana continued speaking, her voice a little louder now. She wanted to make sure Merlin could hear her properly, that he could hear she meant every word. "You did not hurt Arthur."

"Of course I did," Merlin snorted. He let his arms drop next to his body and pushed himself away from the wall. He turned to stand directly towards Morgana now, but not in a threatening way. He seemed...exhausted, like he was tired of everything that was happening around him, that was happening _because_ of him.

Morgana could not blame him. It couldn't be easy betraying the man you have served for more than three years. Morgana had always considered the two to be inseperatable, but here Merlin stood: having joined her in their quest.

"He knows now," she said softly , "about your magic. It must be a burden lifted from your shoulders."

"I attacked him," Merlin sighed, his hand going through his dark hair, "I should have controlled myself."

Morgana took a step closer towards the young sorcerer. She wanted to console him, assure him that he only had done what was necessary, but something inside her stopped her from walking any further. Merlin seemed like he needed space and so she would grant him that.

"You were angry," she simply said, "and that is understandable."

"For years I have hidden everything about myself," Merlin said, casting his gaze down, "I had one task and I wanted to fulfill it. I tried to, but I am tired, Morgana," he looked up to meet her gaze again, "I'm so tired."

"You made the right decision coming here," the youngest sister reassured him, smiling faintly, "here you do not have to hide. You can be you and I never thought that you were...this person."

Merlin frowned, clearly not understanding what Morgana was talking about.

"I thought for a long time that you were simply Arthur's clumsy servant," she explained, chuckling softly, "that you would do anything to please him. I was wrong." She turned serious. "You are the most loyal friend anyone can have. You would die for someone you love." Morgana smiled broadly now, "that is amazing."

Merlin pressed his lips together. It seemed he felt almost awkward about the compliment. It made Morgana smile even broader.

"I'm glad to have you on on my side," she concluded.

Merlin's gaze turned serious then, a thought having struck him.

"What is it?" Morgana asked.

"Arthur," Merlin told her, "he will not tell you where the entrance is." Merlin swallowed heavily. "Morgause has tortured him for hours and he will not break."

"Of course he will," Morgana quickly said. She found it rather hurtful that Merlin did not believe in their plan.

"No," Merlin said, determined about his words, "he won't. He does not have to, however. You don't need a secret entrance when I can get you in."

"How?" Morgana asked. She couldn't follow Merlin's trail of thought.

"No person in Camelot knows of my betrayal," Merlin said, "they must all think I have been captured along with Arthur and Lancelot. Even Uther still trusts me. I will tell them you and your sister have Arthur, but that I was able to escape."

Morgana's eyes became nothing more than two thin lines as she wasn't sure this plan could work. It had potential, though, so she continued to listen to what Merlin had to tell her.

"There is the entrance where we helped Mordred escape, do you remember?" Merlin took a step closer to Morgana. "Arthur had it closed, but I should be able to open the entrance again using my magic. I can grant you entrance into the castle undetected."

A broad smile filled Morgana's face now. "That is an excellent plan, Merlin."

-o-o-

"Absolutely not," Morgause yelled. She was pacing up and down the chamber, her blue coat shifting elegantly through the air. Her eyes were nothing more than two thin lines as she gazed into the green eyes of her sister.

"It is a good plan, my Sister," Morgana tried to persuade her, "Merlin can get us inside the castle."

Morgause stopped her pacing for only a second and then started walking again. "Why is it," she asked, her voice cold, "that you trust him this much?"

Morgana pressed her lips together for a long moment, not knowing the answer to this question really. It did not matter, though. Merlin could give them the perfect opportunity to get them inside Uther's castle and Morgause was being difficult about it. This might be there best chance yet!

"No one will know we are in Camelot," Morgana said, "Uther will not know what it is coming for him. I can get my throne back, Sister, this is everything we have worked for."

"This is a _trap_," Morgause almost spat, "Merlin is leading us into a trap!"

"He is not," Morgana defended him.

"Of course he is," Morgause said, still pacing, "it makes sense now. Why else would he come to join us? Why else would he simply give us Arthur unless he knows he can get him out again. This must be a plan between him and the Prince."

"Morgause," Morgana sighed, "I ask for you to have faith in me."

"No," the blonde sister shook her head wildly, her curls jumping up and down around her face, "you are asking me to trust _him_." She came to a halt now and she stood perfectly still.

Morgana refused to cast down her gaze, however, not wanting to appear frightened of her own sister. "This is our only chance," she said after a long moment of silence, "and I am going to take it."

"You must make a choice then, my Sister," Morgause said. She stepped towards Morgana and placed her hand gently on her cheek, her thumb stroking her skin as she smiled at Morgana. "Is it me you support or Merlin?"

Morgana's heart might have jumped out of her chest when hearing that question. She did not want to make this choice. How could she choose between the sister that had done everything for her, that had made her into this strong person, or the sorcerer that could still give her all that she desired, that understood her and knew what she had gone through her entire life?

Merlin could protect her, Morgana was certain of it.

"I have to do this," Morgana whispered, "I am sorry."

Morgause dropped her hand, a flash of anger consuming her gaze. "You will regret this," she hissed, "for the rest of your remaining days, you will regret this." She stepped back, still gazing into her sister's eyes. "_Driah loghi sthrue_."

A low thunder filled the room and Morgana couldn't help but cover her face with her arms. When the thunder had died out, she found herself all alone in the chamber. Her breathing quickened, not knowing what she had just done.

Morgause was furious, but Morgana was certain of her decision. Merlin was their only chance.

-o-o-

The evening had come sooner than Merlin had expected and for the first time in days, he felt as if he could truly fall into a deep sleep, as if he could finally forget for once all that was happening. His chamber was dark, the only light coming in coming from the silver moon that was half covered with clouds.

As soon as Merlin had closed his eyes, he had drifted of into sleep. For once, he had no worries, no regrets or doubts. His dream started to take shape and Merlin found himself standing in a chamber that was stripped of everything. No tables or chairs, no books or beds. There was nothing, except for bare walls and dust.

Slowly he turned around, trying to figure out where he was and only then did he realize. This was Arthur's bedchamber, only it wasn't anymore. It was cold in the room and with every breath Merlin took, a white cloud escaped his lips.

_Merlin_.

The young sorcerer turned around, having heard someone call out his name. He was all alone, however, and Merlin let his gaze slowly slide through the chamber. Perhaps he had missed something, a small detail. Was there someone in the room?

There was absolutely nothing here.

_Merlin_.

Again, that voice. That familiar voice. Merlin tried to place it, but he could not tell who it belonged to. It seemed he was confused, not even knowing whether he was truly hearing someone call out for him or not. Was he going mad?

_Merlin_!

"What is it?" Merlin asked, not knowing if he would be heard.

_What are you doing, Merlin?_

The sorcerer swallowed heavily. Could it be?

_You have joined the Witch, you have betrayed everything and everyone. You have jeopardized your destiny._

Merlin quickly turned around, hoping to catch a glimpse of the Dragon. Was this real? Was the Dragon truly talking to him or was this all part of a dream?

"I did what I had to do," Merlin said, knowing he would be heard, "I had no other choice!"

_Everyone has a choice_, came the Dragon's voice.

This time, it originated from behind Merlin and so he turned around again, suddenly gazing at trees and bushes. His bare feet were buried in mud and grass and the air was freezing. He gazed behind him again, but the chamber had disappeared. He stood in the middle of a forest and he didn't even know how he had gotten there? Was he even there or was he still laying in bed?

"What do you want?" Merlin asked, still not seeing the Dragon anywhere.

"I want you to see reason," the Dragon simply explained.

Again, Merlin turned on his heels and this time, he stared straight into the eyes of the Dragon. He backed away a few steps. He didn't want to, but the Dragon looked angry. More than that, he looked furious.

"I made a choice," Merlin told him, "and I stand by it. Besides, my destiny has already been changed, hasn't it? Arthur no longer trusts me."

"But he still needs you," said the Dragon. He lowered his head so that his eyes were on the same level as Merlin's. It seemed he still believed in the young sorcerer's destiny even though Merlin could not possibly understand why.

"Morgana can not get the throne," the Dragon continued, "she will destroy everything that is good. You can not trust anyone anymore, Merlin, certainly not the eldest sister. She will not only destroy everything that is good, she will destroy _you_."

Merlin remained silent, waiting on what the Dragon still had to say. Could he even believe a word he had told him? Merlin had always listened to the Dragon's advice, but this only meant this was another way where Merlin wasn't _free_. He was tired of listening to others, of following their advice.

"Choose your next moves wisely, young warlock," the Dragon concluded, "for the destiny of Camelot rests upon your shoulders."

Merlin awoke with a shock. He immediately pushed himself away from his pillow, sitting up straight in his bed. His skin was covered with sweat and his hands trembled slightly. Balling them into fists, Merlin refused to believe in a word the Dragon had said. When did the destiny of Camelot not rest on his shoulders? He was sick and tired of all the responsibility.

For once, he simply wanted to be free. He wanted to make his own decisions without having to think about anyone else. No Arthur, no Gaius, no Gwen.

He would do what his heart desired and for the moment, he wanted to everyone and everything to see who he truly was.

**AN: Another chapter is one. It's a long one, I know, but I don't think anyone minds. If you do, let me know and I'll make sure the next chapters won't be this long. I also know a lot of you are waiting to see what Arthur's reaction is to Merlin's magic, but don't fear, you will find out soon! I just thought it was important to have a little bit of story from Morgana's perspective. I didn't want her to be just **_**evil **_**and I wanted to give all of you a little insight into her thinking. I hope I made her a little likable...**

**Thanks for having read this chapter. The next one will arrive soon!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.**

**AN: (Any and all mistakes are completely my own.) **

**Thank you, all those that left a review. I am still glad many people like this story and where it is heading. I know it has been a while since my last update, but here is the next chapter and I hope it doesn't disappoint. I really just wanted to give a clear insight into the thinking of Merlin and I hope I succeeded!**

**Here it goes...  
**

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 10  
**

Many things needed to be done. It seemed that the more Merlin wanted to be free, wanted to be himself, the more responsibilitieshe received. Of course, he had brought it on himself. He had suggested the plan of returning to Camelot, not Morgana or her sister. Perhaps he should have just remained silent. The idea of being caught, of being discovered as a traitor, it send chills down Merlin's spine. There was not a chance, however, that he would back down. He would show Arthur once and for all how truly powerfull he could be.

Merlin sighed deeply. It was difficult being confronted with your own ideas. Always he had told himself that he was here because of Gaius, that he only wanted revenge. That had been a lie. It seemed that Gaius' death did release something inside of Merlin, but it surely wasn't revenge. It was a hunger he had never noticed before. He wanted recognition, just like Morgana had told him. Why was it she knew more about him than he did? One look into his eyes, and she could read him so easily. That thought wasn't a very pleasant one as he knew he could never keep a secret from her now and he still had those. Secrets... His whole life was one secret.

There was a knock on his door then, but Merlin knew who it would be.

"Enter," he called out.

Morgana instantly opened the door, stepping inside and making sure there was no one around. Merlin knew she was coming from her sister and she did not look amused. Her eyes spoke danger, as if even standing in this room with Merlin alone was something Morgause did not approve of.

"It's a good plan," Morgana said, immediately coming to point. She walked towards Merlin's window and gazed outside, seeing nothing but a thick fog covering every inch of the ground beneath them.

"Morgause doesn't like it," Merlin said. It was more a statement than a fact. Of course Morgause would approve. She did not trust the young sorcerer at all and she certainly wouldn't want their fate resting in his hands.

"She doesn't," Morgana agreed, "but it is still our only chance." She turned away from the window to look at Merlin who sat on the edge of his bed. His hands were folded in his lap and his gaze pierced Morgana's. "You have to do it," she said, not moving, "we don't have another choice."

Merlin only nodded. "I have one more thing to do before leave, though."

"And what's that?" Morgana asked. Her voice was high with curiosity.

"See Arthur," Merlin answered.

-o-o-

Merlin's hand lay on the doorknob. It was laying there for almost a minute now, but it seemed he couldn't get himself to turn it. Part of his mind wanted to, another part of him was screaming to turn around and walk away. Behind that door, after all, was Arthur. The Prince knew, he finally knew, but Merlin was afraid to see his reaction.

At least he would be alone. He had ordered two guards to bring the Prince to this abandoned chamber on the third floor of this old castle. The only reason why he wanted to be this high up was because he knew Arthur couldn't escape through the window. And perhaps because he knew Morgause barely came up here.  
Merlin sighed deeply. He should just do it, get over with it! He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes. He wouldn't like what he was about to see. Arthur would never look at him anymore as his clumsy servant. There might be anger, hate and fury. Perhaps even shouting of horrible words and curses.

He turned the knob and the door slowly creeped open. Merlin stepped inside, witnissing for the first time the magnificent chamber that lay hidden here. The high ceiling made it appear as if the room was as big as one's house. Long windows made it possible for the sunlight to enter, casting the entire floor in an orange and red shadow.

The entire chamber was empty, except for one man who already stood inside.

Arthur.

He turned on his heels to see who had just entered, and immediately, he stepped back when his eye fell upon his old servant.

Merlin said nothing. He let the door click back into place and all that he could think of was the silence that seemed to be consuming everything. He had dreaded the prospect of having to listen to Arthur's first words, but they did not come. Why was Arthur just standing there? Why didn't he say something?

An uneasy feeling slowly filled Merlin's mind and body. His fingers tingled and his head felt light. Merlin took a step forward and Arthur immediately stepped back again.

Was that...fear? Merlin swallowed heavily. He had expected many things, but fear? It couldn't be. Arthur was a Knight, he was the Crown Prince and even in the most deadly and dangerous situation would he not show fear. He had been trained not to after all. Merlin just couldn't read him properly anymore. It seemed he didn't even know the Prince at all now.

Merlin's opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but not a sound escaped his lips.

"You're a traitor," Arthur spoke. His voice echoed through the chamber. Finally, there was something in his voice that Merlin recognised. Anger. It seemed Arthur wasn't a total stranger to him yet. All that he could think of was if Arthur could still read him that easily? And if he could, what did he see?

Merlin didn't know what he felt now that he was looking into Arthur's bright blue eyes. DId he feel anger? Perhaps, but it wasn't as present anymore as it had been all those days before. Hate? There was no hate. DId he feel sad? Merlin sighed. He did feel sad. Sad because of everything that he had lost, because of everything that he was still about to lose.

"I am," Merlin only said, "I'm not afraid of it anymore. It's the truth and the truth hurts."

Arthur shook his head. "You're blind to the truth," he said, "I told you the truth and you did not believe me."

And there it was again. Anger. Why was Arthur still believing that he could manipulate Merlin into doing his bidding? Did he honestly believe he would just trust in the Prince's words? Gaius would never kill himself, Merlin knew that much.

"He was afraid," Arthur spoke. His body language changed. It seemed he no longer felt threatened by Merlin and so he grew more confident again. "Gaius was afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Merlin might not believe one word Arthur was telling him, he did have a curiosity towards it.

"Of hurting you," Arthur explained. There was a hardness in his voice and his eyes were almost cold. He took in a deep breath then, and everything about him softened. "He was dying, Merlin, and you were suffering with him."

Merlin pressed his lips together. Memories came flooding back to him, but he refused to have them influence his emotions. He refused to feel the sadness because of them, the pain and the hurt. Gaius was gone, there was no use to think about it any further.

"Gaius couldn't stand it," Arthur continued to speak. He pauzed for a moment, casting his gaze down. It seemed he needed a moment to control his emotions as well, but he quickly looked at Merlin again. "He didn't want to hurt you," he said, his voice softer now, "all that he wanted was to protect you and he asked me to look after you."

Merlin could only listen to Arthur's words, but it seemed it took forever before Merlin's truly understood them. If he hadn't known better, he would have thought they were in a language he barely understood.

"Now that I think about it," Arthur said, "I suppose Gaius knew. He knew you might do something stupid and he asked me to help you. I should have been there for you, Merlin, I should have-"

"Shut up," Merlin said. It became more and more difficult to breathe and he needed a moment to recollect himself. It felt as if he was being torn into pieces and it hurt. Why couldn't things ever be easy? Why wouldn't he just make one decision and stick with it? Why did he always have to deal with the bloddy consequences.

"I've thought many things of you," Arthur said after a moment of silence, "from the first day that I met you, I knew you were different. As time went on, I never really thought about it anymore. You became my servant and somehow I thought I was imagining it all." He exhaled sharply. "But you are a sorcerer. You have magic."

"And is that bad?" Merlin heard himself ask. He hadn't truly meant to say it out loud.

Arthur's gaze widened. He hesitated before he answered. "I don't know," he admitted, "you've had magic for a while, I guess, but I never thought you would..."

"Evil?"

"Magic corrupts," Arthur said, agnoring Merlin's statement, "that is what my father always said. Magic seeks to destroy. I have seen it happen to Morgana and it broke my heart. I loved her like she was my own sister."

"She is your sister."

"But you?" Arthur didn't seem to be able to breath properly as well. He took another step backwards, away from Merlin. His hand reached up to touch his hair as if he didn't know how to behave himself.

Only then did Merlin notice the tears in the Prince's eyes. It was lucky he could see them at all. They were standing at the oposite sides of the chamber after all, and the distance between them was soothing somehow. It made them feel like they could say what was on their mind without having to worry about their safety. Merlin knew that was only their imagination. If he wanted to, he could use magic again. Distance wasn't a problem at all.

"You..." Arthur continued to speak once he regained control over his voice, "your betrayel hurt me more than Morgana's. I thought you were my friend, someone I could always count on."

"I thought so as well," Merlin only said. He was surprised to hear his voice this soft.

"So what happens now?" Arthur asked.

Merlin shrugged. "I have no idea." He turned around, wanting to leave to room, but as his hand touched the doorknob, he turned his head again, looking at Arthur who still stood perfectly still.

"Are you telling the truth?" he asked, "do you swear on Gwen's life?"

Arthur immediately nodded. "I didn't murder Gaius, Merlin," he sighed, "he was my friend as well. And I would never have hurt him either."

Merlin didn't respond. He only pushed open the door and walked outside. Leaving Arthur alone in that room, Merlin suddenly felt as if he could breath properly again. What if Arthur truly was telling him the truth? What if Gaius really did kill himself? Then why was he even here? What was his excuse then?

He didn't have any and the Dragon's words suddenly echoed through his mind. 'Choose your next moves wisely, young warlock,' the Dragon had said, 'for the destiny of Camelot rests upon your shoulders.'

But which options did he truly have? What could he possible do now that all was revealed. One thing was certain, though, one thing that Merlin did not regret. Arthur knew and Merlin had never before felt this...peace.

**AN: And another chapter is done. I hope you liked the first meeting between Merlin and Arthur. I didn't just want an angry Arthur or Merlin, I wanted them both to be torn. I wanted them to have a difficult time dealing with everything and I hope I succeeded in that. The next chapter will arrive soon! In the mean time, I hope you let me know your thoughts on this chapter!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.**

**AN: I hope there aren't too many mistakes in this. I wrote it and immediately posted it on fanfiction... I apologize for all the possible mistakes!**

**I have to admit, I was relieved to read all of your reviews. I was a little scared you wouldn't like the scene between Merlin and Arthur cause it lacked, well, anger and shouting and cursing. But it seems it went down well. I can only thank you all for letting me know you liked it.**

**Enjoy the next chapter!**

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 11**

"_Traëcke drayo fraÿ_."

Merlin closed his eyes. He knew what was coming, he knew what he would feel for the next few seconds, but he still wasn't quite prepared for it, it seemed. His magic immediately started taking its effect and Merlin bite down on his lower lip in order to avoid himself from wincing.

And then it all ended. Merlin took in a deep breath before opening his eyes and he noticed that the edges of his vision was still a little blurry. Another effect of his magic, but he was already starting to see more clearly again.

Morgana watched him with amazement. When she noticed Merlin was looking at her, she smiled reassuringly.

"It's not that bad," she told him.

Merlin turned around and look at himself in the mirror. He was shocked by what he saw and he couldn't help but exhale sharply. His right index finger traced the dozen scratches on his bare arms. The blood on his skin coming from the new wounds was still warm, but it didn't hurt anymore.

There was also a large bruise visible on the side of his neck, its color blue, even a little purple already. His skin had lost its life-like color and was now just a shade of gray. His lip was tick and swollen and a deep cut covered his left cheek.

"I look horrible," Merlin sighed.

"Does it hurt?" Morgana asked. She looked over Merlin's shoulder at his reflection in the mirror. They locked gazes for just a second, but Merlin quickly turned his eyes towards his own reflection. It was more difficult to look at her now. Everytime he saw her green eyes, Merlin had to think of Arthur and of what he had told him.

Looking at Morgana made Merlin realize why he was truly here. Not because Gaius, not anymore at least. He was here because he wanted to be. He was here at Morgana's side, and not at Arthur's.

"No," he answered, "I don't feel any pain."

Morgana smiled. "I told you," she said, "it's the same spell I used when I allowed Arthur and his knights to find me. I did not look then, did I?"

"But you looked very convincing," Merlin said, turning away from his reflection, "you fooled everyone."

"Except for you." The youngest sister's voice didn't hold any grudge. She simply looked at Merlin, waiting for him to at her again. He did and she smiled.

"You'll do fine," she assured him, "everyone will believe you, Merlin, I know they will."

"That's not what I am worried about," Merlin admitted.

"Then what is it?" Morgana took a step closer to the young sorcerer. She frowned and her gaze was filled with concern. Merlin was still not used to seeing that emotion in her eyes, certainly not when it came to him. Only months ago had he tried to poison her and now here they stood, ready to betray Camelot together.

Merlin only shook his head. He didn't want to bother her with all that was on his mind. He produced a faint smile, but he knew it wasn't reassuring Morgana.

"It's time to go," he said and Morgana only nodded.

-o-o-

Merlin was surprised to find to find that the sister's hideout wasn't that far from the city of Camelot. After only walking for a day, he gazed at the old city, seeing the castle standing powerful above it as if looking down on the hundreds of small houses.

The young sorcerer sighed heavily. He was truly doing this. Within a few hours, he would be standing before the King, lying to him and telling him he had escaped Morgause and Morgana's imprisonment. He would tell him Arthur and Lancelot were still with them, however, and that they would not live for much longer.

That last part was the truth really. Merlin had convinced Morgana to let Lancelot live as well, though she wanted the knight to be locked away until all this was over. He didn't pose as a threat after all. He still needed to work on convincing her to let Arthur go after all this was over, however.

The only true important thing here was the death of Uther.

It was the King after all that had outlawed magic. It was he who had destroyed so many lives and he didn't even feel remorseful about that. If Uther were to be King for much longer, Merlin was certain of it that his life as well would be destroyed. If it hadn't already...

Morgause was being difficult, however. She wanted Lancelot gone already. He was a burden, she had told her sister, as was Arthur. Morgana had been able to make Morgause see their purpose however. If they were still to be alive, Uther would send out a rescue party. That would leave the King unprotected.

Of course Merlin could tell Uther his son was still alive even if he were to be dead, but Merlin had refused to carry out the plan if that were actually true. At least now he knew that Lancelot and Arthur were still alive. He would decide what to do with them when he returned with Morgana from their mission.

He could only hope that he would be able to get her inside the castle tonight. She would be counting on him and Merlin didn't want to let her down. Too much depended on it after all.

When he finally reached the gates that lead onto the main square before the castle, Merlin exhaled sharply. A guard almost immediately spotted him, recognizing him as the Prince's servant, and he called for other guards. Before Merlin was fully aware of what was happening, four guards stood before him, telling him they should take him to see the King. One of them already asked Merlin what had happened, but the young sorcerer said nothing.

The guards were all exited, but not in a good way. Panicked might be a better word. As Merlin let the guards take him to see Uther, he heard them whisper to each other about Arthur. It seemed Camelot had been in a state of high alert ever since Arthur hadn't returned from the hunt. Everyone knew, though, that the Prince wasn't just missing, but that he had been taken, along with Lancelot and Merlin.

For a moment, Merlin wondered how they knew that, but then he remembered the four guards he had left behind on that day. They must have figured out they had been attacked. Merlin had made sure, however, that those guards hadn't seen Merlin use magic on them.

He walked through the halls of the castle, the four guards still with him. When they reached the heavy wooden doors of the Council Chamber, Merlin took in deep breath, reminding himself that he needed to stay calm.

This was it, however, and Merlin could only hope he had grown to be a better liar over the past few days.

-o-o-

Morgause had waiting for this moment for a while now. Merlin had left early this morning, ready to carry out his plan which Morgause despised. She did not trust that sorcerer for one hair. She still couldn't believe she had never noticed him before. She had met him plenty of times, but never had she seen the signs.

And now, after hours of waiting patiently, Morgana was gone as well. She was heading to Camelot, too, ready to carry out the plan together with Merlin. That was _if_ Merlin truly was planning on following through with it. Something told Morgause, however, that he actually would. He would help Morgana sneak into the castle and together, they would confront Uther.

Morgause hated him for that. It seemed he was taking away everything from her. He had stolen Morgana from her and Morgause wasn't planning on just letting that happen. She had taught her sister everything and this was how she repaid her? Anger flashed in Morgause's eyes, and behind a window broke into a thousand little pieces as Morgause's magic had lashed out.

The eldest sister balled her hands into fists and a gush of wind entered through the broken window, blowing her blond hair over her shoulder.

It was time, she thought, and with a snap of her fingers, two guards entered into her chamber.

"Bring them outside," she ordered them. She said nothing more and the guards left her alone, knowing who is was talking about and what was about to happen. Morgause stepped out of her chamber and descended the stairs. Dashing through the hall, she quickly reached the heavy wooden doors that would lead her outside.

"_Facïo me mighi_," she growled and the doors immediately swung open. She stepped through them and into the sunlight. It would be another two hours before it would be dark, but already the smell of the air was changing. It was bound to rain tonight.

Four guards stepped outside as well a few minutes later, between them Arthur and Lancelot. Their hands were bound together before them and they were forced to kneel before Morgause who still had her back towards them.

Morgause turned to look at them then and she noticed how the Prince and Knight exchanged a quick look. It was clear they had no idea what was about to happen. Their gazes searched around briefly, but they only found the eldest sister.

"Don't look so hopeful," she said, "Merlin isn't around to save you."

"Finally decided to kill us then?" Arthur asked mockingly.

Morgause's eyes became nothing more than two thin lines. She couldn't believe she had once relied on the Prince to get rid of Uther. She should have seen his weakness, she should have known he would never carry on with killing the King.

"I still need you," she told Arthur, "your Knight, however," she smiled, "is of no use for me."

A fifth guard appeared then, carrying a large ax that was clearly meant to kill a human. Morgause saw Arthur swallow heavily and Lancelot's eyes widen. Only one thought ran through the witch's mind; it was a pity Merlin wasn't here to see this. She would have enjoyed watching him try to stop her.

The two guards still holding Lancelot's arms, pulled him back up onto his feet.

"No," Arthur objected, "what do you want?"

"Nothing Lancelot can give me," Morgause sneered. She looked at the two guards holding the knight and she nodded her head. They forced him to lean down onto a large wooden block that was a little bigger than the seize of his head. One guard pushed down his hand on Lancelot's head, making sure he couldn't move it while the other guard firmly held his arms down.

"Do it," Morgause ordered the guard holding the ax.

Then it happened, something she had not been expecting.

Lancelot kicked out his legs wildly, hitting one guard hard on his knees. With one brute pull, he lifted his head as well, pushing the second guard who fell as he lost his balance.

The executioner lifted his ax, not wanting Lancelot to escape, but the Knight moved quickly, his still tied hands lashing forward and he hit the executioner hard in the side with his balled hands. The ax fell onto the ground as the executioner gasped for breath and Lancelot turned to look briefly at Arthur who had jumped up as well and grabbed the sword of one of his guards.

The Prince had acted as quickly as he could. As soon as he saw Lancelot break free, the Prince had jumped up as well, his legs having kicked both of his guards. Having pulled a sword from the downed guards certainly made the fighting easier for Arthur, but his hands were still bound together which was a disadvantage.

Morgause could not let this happen, however, and she raised her hand, more anger boiling in her chest.

"Run!" Arthur shouted as he saw Lancelot looking at him. He threw him his sword which the knight caught swiftly. "Run!" Arthur yelled again.

"_Venthios tachty per maysuus vis_." Her voice echoed through the air. A force left from her hand, lifting Arthur from the ground and pushing him backwards until he hit the stone wall behind him with force. The Prince fell onto the ground, but he was still consious.

He picked up a rather large rock laying beside him and threw it towards Morgause. The witch knew what he was doing. He wanted her to forget about Lancelot for a moment and it was working. There was a small, but sharp rock coming at her with speed after all.

"_Everto_," she hissed. The rock shattered into dust.

Arthur had no weapon anymore and so Morgause turned to look where Lancelot was, but she saw nothing but trees.

"You fools," she cursed at the guards, "go after him. Bring me that knight!"

The guards immediately jumped into action and disappeared between the trees of the thick forest as well. Morgause slowly walked towards Arthur who was pushing himself to sit up straight. He leaned against the cold stone wall behind him, a grin on his face.

"You'll never find him," he told her.

Morgause pressed her lips together. She couldn't believe the anger she felt at this very moment. She didn't want to kill the Prince, not yet anyway. What she wanted right now, was to hurt him, to hear him beg.

"You'll regret that," she said. "_Pöena mhay perussi dray_."

Arthur started shaking, he started convulsing as a seering pain nearly split apart his head. He screamed in agony, his hands pulling at his hair as he coud only wish for the pain to stop. He kicked out his legs and pressed the palms of his hands against his temples now, squeezing his eyes shut.

And then the pain ended. He gasped for breath and when he gazed up to meet Morgause's gaze, he saw her standing before him. She didn't smile, she didn't grin. Her eyes were only cold, her chest moved up and down rapidly and her lips were nothing more than two thin lines.

She only showed fury.

"I don't care about..." she searched for his name, "Lancelot. He has no importance. I don't need to kill him to hurt you." She took another step closer towards the Prince. "Morgana will understand what she has done soon." She lowered herself so that she was at eye level with Arthur. "And all I need for Merlin to come running back, is you." Now she smiled. "And when he does return," she placed her hand gently on Arthur's cheek, her thumb stroking away some blood that had been running down his lip, "I will kill him."

Arthur could only swallow heavily.

**AN: Waw, it was fun to write this. I shouldn't enjoy Arthur in pain, but I do. I'm sorry, it's the truth. But our favorite Prince isn't in a good position, is he? A lot has happened, though. Lancelot escaped! Yay for him. All he has to do now, is stay out of the hands of those guards chasing him. And what will happen in Camelot with Merlin and Morgana?**

**You'll have to read the next chapter to find out! **

**Thanks for having read this chapter!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.

AN: Any and all mistakes are completely my own. I want to thank everyone who left me a review. You guys rock! I would give each of you a cookie, but that seems impossible so how about a new chapter? Well, here it is...

Enjoy!

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 12**

The doors opened, allowing Merlin entrance into the Council Chamber. There weren't many people present. The King was there, of course, as were three Knights and Merlin immediately recognized Leon. The others he had seen before, but he didn't know their names.

Uther caught his attention, however, as he almost jumped from his seat when setting eyes on the servant of his missing son. The King's eyes grew wide, as if he expected Arthur to enter as well, but he soon steadied himself again when seeing that his son wouldn't be walking through those doors.

"My Lord," Merlin said, bowing his head.

"Merlin," Uther said. For the first time since a long time, he seemed actually pleased to see the servant standing before him, "what has happened? Where is my son?"

Merlin took in a deep breath. He needed to play this part smart. He needed to appear exhausted, hurt and like he had lived through hell these past few days. Morgana had been able to pull it of so well and Merlin only wondered if he could do so as well.

"We were captured," Merlin explained, "by Morgause and Morgana. It was all a trap. They created that beast to lure Arthur. There was nothing we could have done. They surprised us and we were overpowered."

"Where is he?" Uther demanded to know, only wanting to know what Arthur's condition was.

Merlin shook his head. "I don't know, Sire," he lied, "it all happened so fast. The sisters didn't care about me, however, I am just a servant after all and I was under little guard. Arthur and Lancelot couldn't escape, but I seized the first chance that I got. It took me hours before I found Camelot."

Uther pressed his lips together, his gaze averted. "But he is still alive," he asked Merlin, not looking at the servant.

"Yes, My Lord," Merlin said, glad that those words were at least the truth, "but I don't know for how long or why Morgause even kept us alive."

Uther nodded, looking up to meet Merlin's gaze again. "You must be exhausted," he fianlly said after a moment of silence, "you need rest. I'll have someone escort you to your chambers."

Merlin did feel exhausted. All the lying, all the deceit and hatred had consumed nearly all of his energy these past few days. And it wasn't yet over. It seemed the worst was still to come and Merlin knew he needed to be prepared for it. Morgana would only be arriving in Camelot tonight which gave Merlin enough time to rest.

-o-o-

The door cracked as he opened it. It was quiet inside, but Merlin knew she would be here. Gwen would have been worrying sick these past few days and Merlin wanted to bring her some comfort, in any possible way.

Gwen had heared someone enter her little house and she quickly came into the kitchen. Her gaze widened when she saw it was Merlin standing before her. She didn't hesitate, but ran towards the young servant and embraced him for what seemed to be hours.

"You have no idea how relieved I am to see you," she smiled, tears in her eyes as she let go of her friend again. "I thought you might be dead, or worse, tortured."

"I'm alright, Gwen," Merlin assured her.

"You don't look like it," she sighed, her finger tracing the many cuts and bruises on Merlin's face and neck, "what happened?"

"We were captured by Morgause and Morgana," Merlin explained, "they still have Arthur and Lancelot. I managed to escape, but the others..."

"You did what you had to do," Gwen assured Merlin.

He hated it. He hated lying to Gwen. She had always been so kind to him, she had never lied to him or hurt him. But there he stood, doing all that she had never done before. He barely dared looking into her hazelnut brown eyes anymore. Her hand reached up to meet his face, taking his selfloathing for guilt.

"They'll be okay," Gwen smiled sadly, "they're strong, they can handle almost anything."

"I know how much you care for them," Merlin sighed, looking up to meet her gaze. He forced himself to look at her, to look at the consequences of his actions and decisions.

"You are important to me, too," she said, "and I am grateful to have you back."

All that Merlin could think of, however, was that she would soon have to say goodbye to Merlin again. There was not a chance in the world that he would be able to stay in Camelot when this was all over, no matter how this turned out to be.

-o-o-

The night came quick, almost too quick. The halls of the castle were abandonned and Merlin was surprised to find it to be so easily to walk through them. He only crossed paths with one guard on his way down to the secret tunnel, but he had made sure the guard hadn't seen him.

And now he was nearly at his meeting point with Morgana. The tunnel was small and Merlin needed to duck his head in order not to bump it against the stones. The air was cold, nearly freezing and it was hard to breath. It was just a very cold night and the snow outside had all turned to ice. Merlin simply felt lucky to have the warmth of the torch he was carrying.

He finally reached the end of the tunnel, seeing nothing but darkness outside.

"Morgana?" His voice was barely more than a whisper, but immediately he saw her face appear on the other end of the iron grid. She smiled when seeing Merlin had arrived. "Did you doubt me, that I would come?" Merlin couldn't help but ask.

"No," she assured him, "I'm just glad to see you. Now hurry up, it's very cold out here and I couldn't use fire to keep me warm."

Merlin only nodded and warned Morgana to step back. He inhaled deeply, his lungs aching because of the cold air. He focused on the magic he would have to use and he could feel it coming to him naturally.

"_Sinoth nos abëo_," Merlin's words were powerful and as he opened his eyes, he noticed the first cracks in the iron and stone. His magic hadn't been enough yet. He lifted his hand, pointing it to the grid, and he closed his eyes again. "_Sinoth now abëo!"_ This time, there was a small explosion and the grid burst out of the rock. It fell with a loud thud onto the ground and dust filled the air for a second.

Morgana appeared again, stepping into the tunnel with help of Merlin's hand. She looked with admiration in her eyes at the young sorcerer.

"What?" Merlin wanted to know. He had never seen her look at him like that.

"Nothing," she said, "just...that was powerful."

"You could do it as well," Merlin told her, starting to move towards the castle again, "I could teach you." He looked back to see Morgana's smile broaden and he couldn't help but smile along. Silently, they moved through the tunnel again, listening carefully if any guards were coming their way, but it seemed no one had heard the small explosion.

When they reached the inside of the castle again, Merlin placed the torch back, putting it against the stone wall. He looked at Morgana, only now being able to _truly_ look at her. She wore her battle outfit. Black trousers and high brown boots. She wore a grey shirt and a corset-like harnas around her waist. Her hair was pulled back into a plaid and her eyes shone brilliantly.

"It's strange being back here," she whispered, her voice surprisingly soft. She walked close to Merlin as they moved through the halls of the castle, glancing back every second to see if no one had seen them.

"I suppose," Merlin could only say. He as well was on high alert. The last thing they needed right now was being caught. They ascended a small stairs and crossed a corridor. They only had to hide once in a small chamber where linnen was stored, but as soon as the guard had passed the chamber, they had moved again.

Only moments later, they arrived at the hall where Uther's bedchamber was. Two guards stood before the wooden doors and Merlin looked at Morgana, seeing that she was thinking the same thing as he was.

"_El Prya dorma su_," Merlin whispered and the guards immediately fell down, having fallen asleep.

Morgana was the first one to step into the hall and Merlin quickly followed.

"What are you going to do?" Merlin asked her suddenly, seeing she was reaching to open Uther's door. He hadn't truly considered what Morgana's plan was when she would finally be facing her father. She only glanced back over her shoulder, however, still holding the doorknob. Merlin noticed she was breathing shallowly and he swore he could see her hands tremble gently.

"What needs to be done," she simply said.

"Do you want me to come?" Merlin asked.

She shook her head, looking at her hand holding the door knob now. "I have to do this alone." And then it happened. Morgana grunted in pain, trying to keep her voice down as she didn't want to attrack any attention.

"What is it?" Merlin felt a sudden panic fill his mind.

Morgana turned to look at Merlin, but she quickly close her eyes as her whole world turned around her. Her hands grasped Merlin's arms, trying to steady herself and she grunted again. "I see..." her voice was weak, "I see Morgause." She squeezed her eyes shut. "She's sending me images."

Merlin didn't know what this meant, but it couldn't be anything good.

"Aah," Morgana breathed, her grasp on Merlin's arms tightening, "she is in the forest...she's waiting. There are guards," Morgana swallowed heavily, her eyes still shut, "and it's dark. Arthur is there as well."

Merlin felt his heart race inside his chest. He could only watch Morgana in fear.

"She's waiting," Morgana repeated, "on you. Merlin, she is so angry, so furious. She wants you and she wants to kill...she wants to kill Arthur."

Morgana's eyes flew open as she inhaled deeply. She didn't let go of Merlin's arms, however, and she gazed into his eyes. Merlin wasn't sure what he saw in her green eyes. Was it fear? Anger?

"What does this mean?" Merlin asked her.

"It's a message," Morgana explained, still trying to catch her breath, "one for you. She will kill Arthur unless you go to her."

"So she can kill me instead," Merlin understood now.

"We don't have time," Morgana looked back to Uther's chambers, "we have never been this close. Uther is in there, he is within our reach."

Merlin stepped away from Morgana, feeling her grip on his arms loosen until she let go fully. There was clearly disappointment in her eyes, but Merlin couldn't let himself to care about that. Morgana knew what she wanted, what she needed to do and so did Merlin. He needed to go to Arthur, he needed to stop Morgause from killing him.

"I'm sorry," he simply said.

-o-o-

Merlin turned on his heels and ran away from Morgana who could only look at Merlin leaving her alone. The young sorcerer turned into another hallway, crossed a corridor and nearly bumped into a guard. He had been quick enough to hide in a niche where no one could see him.

Once the guard had passed him, he started running again and he nearly jumped down a whole flight of stairs. What he hadn't been expecting was an arm pulling him back from behind once he reached a new hallway.

With force, Merlin was slammed against the stone wall. All the air was knocked out of him and Merlin's vision turned black for a second.

Only slowly he began seeing contours of the hall again. The sharp edge of a knife was being pressed against the skin of his neck and Merlin could feel someone breathing down on him. The man pulled Merlin's shoulder, turning him away from facing the wall, and forced him to look at his attacker.

Merlin could only swallow heavily.

_Lancelot_.

How did he get here? How did he escape? Many questions filled Merlin's mind, but those were soon erased as Lancelot pushed his dagger deeper into Merlin's skin until a single drop of blood escaped from the wound.

"I should kill you where you stand," Lancelot growled, "_traitor_."

**AN: Cliffhanger! I just had to leave the chapter there. I want you all to come back for the next chapter after all which I promise will arive soon...as soon as I have written it, of course.**

**I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what your thoughts are on this!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.

**AN**: Any and all mistakes are completely my own. Another chapter has arrived. This one just wrote itself, the words almost appearing out of nowhere on my screen. This whole story actually begin with the particular scene between Merlin and Lancelot. I was laying in bed, unable to sleep, and then this began to take form in my mind. I thought it would be a good idea to make a whole story for it and after dismissing some other ideas, I came up with an 'evil' Merlin. It was something I always wanted to do and now I am at chapter 13!

Anyway, enough blabber of me. I know you guys just want this story to continue so...enjoy!

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 13**

"I should kill you where you stand," Lancelot growled, "_traitor_."

Merlin felt how the blade cut deeper into his skin and he felt his breath being caught inside his chest. Looking into the deep brown eyes of Lancelot, Merlin would have never believed to see so much anger in them. Lancelot was the kind of Knight that never let himself fall out of control, but that wasn't the case right now.

"Lancelot," Merlin breathed. He didn't dare move, fearing the blade would cut too deep into his skin, but he needed to find a way out of this situation. He tried to think of words that could ease all this, but whatever Merlin would say, Lancelot wouldn't want to listen to him and the young sorcerer couldn't blame him either.

"You betrayed us," Lancelot said harshly, "you gave us to Morgause and her sister!"

"I know," Merlin could only agree with what Lancelot said.

"_Merlin_?" Morgana's voice echoed through the hall.

It distracted Lancelot long enough for him to release his grip and Merlin slipped from underneath his grasp. Quickly, Merlin distanced himself from the Knight, walking towards Morgana until he stood just before her. His gaze never left Lancelot's face who looked fearful now.

Did he truly believe Merlin or Morgana would attack him now? The dagger was still clenched in between his fingers, however, and he didn't make any movement. It seemed Lancelot was trying to find a proper attitude, but he simply seemed lost for words.

Merlin quickly glanced at Morgana, watching her come to stand by his side now.

"So did you do it already?" Lancelot suddenly asked, his eyes cold as he spoke. "Did you kill Uther?"

Morgana shook her head. "No," she answered, letting her gaze shift between Merlin and Lancelot, "we have more important things to do."

Lancelot scoffed. "Is there someone else you have to betray?"

"No," Merlin spoke now, swallowing heavily, "Arthur is in danger."

Lancelot's eyes became filled with disbelief for just a short second and then he laughed. For a moment, Merlin feared someone would hear them, but those odds were rather small since the bedchambers were all some distance away and no servant would be around this time of the night.

"Arthur is danger," Lancelot repeated Merlin's words, having stopped laughing, "that does tend to happen when you give him to an evil witch."

Merlin could see Morgana tighten at his side. Her lips became nothing more than two thin lines and her eyes spoke anger. It was clear she didn't like anyone talking about Morgause that way, but Merlin was glad that she remained silent.

"I was wrong," Merlin told Lancelot, "I admit that. I was consumed by anger and all I cared for was revenge. I know how it can corrupt because I turned..."

"Evil?" Lancelot suggested as he saw that Merlin couldn't finish his sentence.

"Perhaps," the young sorcerer sighed, "but I now know what I have to do. Morgause will kill Arthur if I don't go to her right now. It is me she wants, my death."

Lancelot frowned, trying to understand what exactly Merlin was trying to tell him.

"You have to believe me, Lancelot," Merlin was surprised to find his own voice so soft, "I don't want to hurt anyone anymore." He quickly looked at Morgana, but she had put up a wall around herself again as no emotion could be read from her face. "You have to let me go," Merlin told Lancelot then, "you have to trust me."

Lancelot sighed deeply. "I don't know if I can do that," he said, "I'm sorry."

Merlin could only nod. "I understand," he sighed, "but I must go to Morgause. I have no other choice."

"You always have another choice," Lancelot repeated the words he had told Merlin days ago, "and you're choosing to help Arthur. I suppose that tells me something."

Merlin said nothing, only watched how Lancelot placed the dagger back into the belt around his waist. "Bring him back," he almost ordered, "or I _will _find you."

Merlin would have smiled, but all that he did, was reach for Morgana's hand and together, they ran out of the hallways. Lancelot watched how they disappeared into the distance, but he did nothing to stop them or follow them. It would be pointless as he knew that soon, Merlin or Morgana would use magic and they would disappear into thin air.

-o-o-

As soon as they reached the open air, Merlin stopped and turned to look at Morgana. Realizing he was still holding onto her hand, he let go, and looked into her green eyes. It was difficult to truly see her as darkness surrounded them. It was probably some time after midnight and there wasn't a soul to be seen.

"What happened?" Merlin asked her. He knew Morgana would know what he was talking about. He watched her eyes harden as if she was already regretting something.

"I didn't kill him," she simply explained, "I was standing at his bedside, watching him sleep, ready to strike down." She exhaled sharply. "I didn't, however. I turned around and came to find you."

"Why?" Merlin knew how important Uther's death was to her and he couldn't understand why she would simply abandon that goal. This was what she had been working for, planning for, and now she had just left Uther alive?

"_You_," Morgana sighed, "the thought of you going up against Morgause, it sends shivers down my back. You'll kill each other and I have to prevent it. I have to prevent Arthur's death."

Merlin couldn't quite believe his ears. "You don't want Arthur dead?"

"Not anymore," she smiled faintly, "I _have _been listening to you, Merlin, whether you want to believe it or not. You always speak so..." she searched for the right words, "full of wisdom, like you honestly know what you are talking about."

"I don't understand..." Merlin had never thought that Morgana was able to speak in riddles.

"Revenge," Morgana slowly started walking again, Merlin immediately following her example, "it is all I wanted," she continued saying, "all I cared for. I wanted revenge for everything that Uther had put me and so many others through. It consumed me, but I'm tired of feeling hateful all the time."

"Your magic can help others," Merlin felt a sudden delight fill him as he heard Morgana say those words, "_you_ can help others."

"No," a large smile filled Morgana's face, reaching all the way up to her eyes, "_we _can help others."

Morgana and Merlin stepped underneath the gate that would lead them into the town of Camelot. They were certain now that no one would be able to see them, not that mattered at this point. Should they manage to save Arthur, he would, without doubt, tell Uther aout their betrayel. Not thinking about that fact, they took each other's hands again and turned to face each other.

"_Gëaliy marhe fuiy_," Morgana found the words to be so familiar, "_priua threy vhray_."

A wind surrounded them, forcing them to stand closer to each other, but as quickly as it had started, it disappeared again. The houses were gone and the castle of Camelot was nowhere to be seen. All that surrounded them, were trees, stars and darkness. They let go of each other again and gazed into the distance.

"Where are we?" Merlin wanted to know, her voice nothing more than a whisper.

"Close to Morgause," she said, "I could feel her presence so I brought us as close as possible."

And then there was the smallest flicker of light. A fire burned some distance away from them and Merlin and Morgana knew what this meant. Morgause, too, knew they were close and she was letting them know where she could be found.

Morgana and Merlin had no other choice but to walk towards the light.

-o-o-

It only took them about thirty minutes to reach Morgause, but it had lasted an eternity. It seemed that no matter how long Merlin walked, he never got closer to that light. But here he now stood, with Morgana at _his_ side and Morgause opposite of them.

Her eyes were cold, his face white with fury. She obviously didn't like the sight of Morgana and Merlin together, united even.

"I knew you would come," she spoke slowly, her head lifted as to look down at the others, "very predictable." She took a step to the left, revealing a tied down Arthur kneeling down behind her. He was gagged, unable to speak, but it was clear that he wanted to yell some very disturbing words.

"He is still alive," Morgause smirked, "for now."

Arthur tried to get out of the ropes that were holding him together, but Merlin knew the Prince would fail. Morgause had probably used magic to prevent him from escaping, escpecially since Lancelot already got away.

"Did you succeed, sister, did you kill Uther?" Morgause asked now, her gaze locking with Morgana's. For a moment, Morgause's eyes lit up, but as the youngest sister remained silent, a sneer crossed her face. "No doubt because of Merlin."

The young sorcerer saw relief on Arthur's face and he wanted to assure him that everything would be alright, that Merlin finally understood now how wrong he had been, but Morgause demanded all of his attention. "I am here," he spoke loudly, surprised to hear the strength in his own voice, "like you wanted. Let Arthur go."

"This whole matter is not that easy," Morgause hissed, "if I can not have the King dead, then I shall have the Prince's head." She turned halfways and lifted her hand as if to use magic.

"No!" Merlin called out. He, too, lifted his hand and words of the Ancient Language were already starting to form a spell in his head.

Morgana's voice rang out, however, calling both Merlin's as Morgause's attention. She stepped forward so that she stood in between them, her gaze shifting from her left to her right. "Stop this," she demanded, "we are a team, we are united even. I refuse to allow Uther, or Arthur for that matter, to drive us apart."

"They have nothing to do with this," Morgause said, forgetting about the Prince again for a second. "Merlin was never part of this _team_. If anything, he is stealing you away from me. You can be powerful, Morgana," Morgause's gaze softened as she took a step towards her sister, "I can make you more powerful than you have ever dreamed of."

Morgana swallowed heavily. "I do no want that."

Morgause's eyes became nothing more than two thin lines. "Then what is it you desire?"

"To feel..., " Morgana looked towards Merlin before focusing on her sister again, "peace." She sighed heavily. "All this, it makes me tired, Morgause. It is eating away at me. Merlin has only shown me there is still another way."

Morgause shook her head. She swiftly turned towards the Prince again, but Morgana was quicker. "_Drenha_," the youngest sister said and her magic pushed Morgause away from Arthur. With force, the blonde sister hit a tree, but quickly, she steadied herself again.

There was only fury in her blue eyes now, her breathing quickening as she turned to look at her younger sister. "I will not allow this!" It was Morgause now who was quicker and her magic burst from her eyes as she attacked Morgana.

Merlin pulled Morgana down, however, just in time. Morgause's magic hit a tree that exploded with force, catching fire instantly. As Merlin looked down, he saw the horror in Morgana's eyes and he couldn't blame her. Her sister had just tried to kill her. The young sorcerer had no time to check if she was alright, however, and he jumped back onto his feet.

Merlin and Morgause stood opposite of each other now, ready to attack once more, but only one would be allowed to live and Merlin knew he would have to act quickly before Morgause would kill him first.

**AN: Cliffhanger! I know; evil, evil me. I somehow don't really mind... I guess this story has made me a little evil, at least more evil than I already was. But I'll make myself a good girl again when I promise that an update will follow soon.**

**I do have a question, though: I just can't decide where to take the whole Merlin and Morgana relationship. Should I have them become close allies, should they remain friends or are you, my faithful readers, ready for some romance? I just don't know so your feedback on this would be MUCH appreciated!**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.

AN: Any and all mistakes are completely my own.

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 14**

It seemed as if for one moment, one short second, everything stood perfectly still. No one blinked, no one even breathing and Merlin could feel himself slow down time. It seemed his magic kicked in instinctivly, but it lasted no longer than it took time to inhale.

And then everything seemed to return to normal. Merlin watched Morgana crawl back onto her feet, he watched Morgause's eyes fill with anger and hatred, allowing herself to be absorbed by it. And he watched Arthur as he tried to break free, as he tried to understand exactly what had just happened. Merlin wished he could tell him, explain to him exactly why he was doing this, why he stood opposite of Morgause now, with Morgana by his side.

There was no time, however, and Merlin focused back onto the eldest sister. Their gazes connected and Merlin could feel the magic build between them, like a gravity field that was being build around them, keeping them in place and apart from each other. It took Merlin a moment to realize that what he was feeling was actual magic.

"What are you doing?" Merlin demanded to know, but he could see Morgause did not know the answer. Quicklly Merlin gazed back, finding Morgana standing tall, her hands raised, one of them pointing towards her sister and the other one towards Merlin. She was breathing heavily, the magic demanded power of her beyond her potential. "Stop this, Morgana," Merlin heard himself say, "please, you're not strong enough to do this."

"Trust in me, Merlin," Morgana smiled faintly, a slight tremble now starting to take control of her limbs, "I can't watch you kill each other."

"Merlin is right, my Sister," the anger and hatred seemed to have dimmed inside Morgause. Her gaze was locked onto Morgana and for a moment, she forgot all about Merlin and her desire to kill him.

"No," Morgana whispered, though is was clear she meant her words to have more power, "promise me you'll stop this. Promise me you'll not try and kill each other." She waited a short second, but no answer came. Morgana's magic faltered, her hands dropping back to rest beside her body and the field she had pulled up around Merlin and Morgause disappeared.

"No!" Merlin screamed. He watched how the youngest sister fell down, her body completely drained and without energy. When her body fell to the damp ground, Merlin could feel a sense of loss though he knew she wouldn't be dead. But Merlin was alone now, having no one he could count on but himself.

"You did this," Morgause yelled, the hatred and anger having returned to her mind. Her gaze lingered over her unconscious sister before locking onto her enemy. "All the hurt, the betrayel, it is all because of you!" She took a step towards Merlin, her words rolling over her tongue so smoothly. "_Dryaï thro vrie_."

Merlin jumped aside just in time to avoid that Morgause's magic would hit him. He rolled rather elegantly over the ground, quickly jumping back onto his feet. It was a trick he had actually learned from Arthur and his gaze connected with the Prince's eyes for just a second. The young sorcerer could see he hadn't only surprised himself, but Arthur as well.

Merlin had no time to focus on Arthur, however, as their was this particular woman demanding all of his attention. He turned on his heels and watched how Morgause prepared herself for yet another spell.

Merlin was quicker this time. "_Larïo_!" The magic left his hands, directed at Morgause with a force he had never before felt. His magic missed her by less than an inch and a tree behind her shattered into a million pieces. It was strange to see the effects his magic had. Never before would he have even considered using such a spell, but he forced now. Merlin kept telling him over and over again. He was forced into using this magic. It was either this, killing Morgause, or getting killed himself.

Morgause spinned around herself, her hands lifted above her head. As she came to a stop, her eyes flashed golden and her magic took form. "_Sthrista broiha_," her voice was strong.

Merlin knew what kind of spell she had just used and it wasn't any magic Merlin wanted to be touched with. He ducked, doing a somersault forward and avoiding the magic hitting him full in the stomach. As another tree got caught in the battle, the tree-trunk and the leaves burst into flames. That could have been Merlin, burning alive.

In stead, the young sorcerer tried to decide what magic he should use next. There wasn't any time to think about strategies, however, and the first thing that came to his mind, he used. "_Groyha nrpear_," he yelled. His hands flew forward, a bright ball of compressed air forming in between them and he sent it straight towards Morgause. The eldest sister had no time to jump aside this time and she flew backwards, her body smacking against the wood of a tree.

She fell to her knees only a a few yards away from Arthur and her eyes lit up as an idea struck her. She quickly hurried to her prisoner and hauled him upwards with almost inhuman strength. Arthur struggled against Morgause's touch, but his hands were still bound behind his back.

"I will kill him," she threatened.

Merlin used the moment of brief calmness to catch his breath. He knew he would soon need to jump back into action and this time, he would have to be stronger. Now that Morgause had involved Arthur into this fight as well, Merlin realized he needed to end it soon.

"It's me you want to kill," Merlin spoke slowly, trying to win more time.

A smile that turned into a grin filled Morgause's face. Her hand was still grabbing Arthur's tied wrists, her body right next to his. Merlin knew he couldn't attack her now without hurting Arthur, or worse, killing him as well. He briefly looked into his eyes, but all that he saw was determination. Leave it to the Prince to have irrational thoughts. He should feel terrified, horrified perhaps, but there he stood, all tall and strong while he didn't even have any control over this situation.

"Let him go," Merlin said, "Morgause, this is not the way this is supposed to happen."

"And what is the right way then?" Her voice was almost a mocking one, as if she couldn't believe Merlin was still trying to get her to release the Prince.

The young sorcerer swallowed heavily, but he didn't show any signs of weaknesses. He didn't feel weak, if anything, he was convinced of the fact that he could win this battle. He knew the power he possesed, the knowledge that was in his head, knowledge Morgause would never even dream of.

After all, Merlin was stronger than her.

A smile now filled his face.

"What?" Morgause demanded to know what was going through the young sorcerer's mind. Her hand pressed Arthur's wrists together with more force, making the Prince bite away his pain.

"_Drakon, e male so ftengometta_," his voice roared through the trees of the forest, "_tesd'hup'anankes_."

Morgause's eyes became nothing more than two thin lines. Her knee lashed out, knocking the on the back of Arthur's knees and making him fall down. Her hands released him and she stepped forward, but only one step. It was clear she didn't trust Merlin at all and she was at a loss for what was going on.

"What did you say?" She looked straight into Merlin's eyes, only to witness him smile rather doubtfully. "What kind of magic was that?"

Merlin wished he could be certain of himself, he wished he could tell himself that he had made the right choice. This was a secret he had not shared with anyone after all, but here he stood, revealing that part of himself that he wished he could have hidden for another long time. He no longer looked at Morgause, but he gazed towards Arthur, wanting to see his reaction.

Above them, a low and viscious growl could be heard. It could almost be mistaken for thunder, but the sky was clear and no storm filled the air. Another growl followed by the sound of heavy breathing. High above them, a long line of blue and yellow fire could be seen. Morgause fearfully stepped back, her eyes locked with the dragon flying above them.

"No," she exclaimed, turning to look at Merlin again.

Merlin could read the surprise straight from her face, together with the shock and disbelief.

"I released him," Merlin explained, looking from Arthur to Morgause and back again, "I broke the chain holding him down below the castle of Camelot. I set the Dragon free."

"The last Dragon is flying above us," Morgause's eyes lit up as she started to understand, "and the last Dragonlord is standing before us."

Arthur's eyes widened, unable to fully comprehend what Morgause had just said, what conclusion she had just made. The eldest sister laughed loudly, looking to the sky again and taking another glimpse at the Dragon. "I must admit, Merlin," she said, still looking above, "this is something I did not expect."

"You leave me no other choice," Merlin sighed. He knew the moment was near. He knew he had to act now or this chance would be lost. The Dragon breathed fire again and Morgause backed away once more, her attention still locked onto the Dragon. Merlin lifted his hand and he could feel a force of energy building inside of him.

"_Sthray_," his voice was soft, but the magic leaving his hand was forceful, strong and unwielding. His eyes glowed golden and Merlin watched how his magic connected with Morgause, its force blowing her away and making her fly backwards a couple of yards. When she finally fell down again, her body smacking against the cold ground, her eyes fell shut.

Merlin rushed forward to Morgause's side, kneeling down and grabbing her hand. Her skin was covered in sweat and hot. Very hot. Merlin placed his hand onto her chest, but he couldn't feel movement. Morgause wasn't breathing and her heart wasn't beating. She was dead because of the magic that she had been hit with. Merlin had actually killed her, but he couldn' t feel triumph for it.

A great wind surrounded them all suddenly and the cracks of dozens of tree-trunks were deafening. The Dragon landed behind Merlin who stood up again and turned on his heels to look into his large and magical eyes.

"Merlin," the Dragon spoke, "I see you have come to your senses."

Merlin ignored the Dragon's statement and walked passed him, heading to where Arthur was still kneeling down. Now that Morgause was no longer alive, her magic keeping the rope around his wrists had vanished and Arthur was already starting to break free.

"Let me help you," Merlin suggested, but as he came near, Arthur jumped onto his feet and quickly backed away. It was difficult to read his emotions, to read his thoughts, but Merlin could clearly recognize the distrust. He couldn't blame Arthur as after all, betrayel was not to be taken lightly.

"Stay away from me," Arthur scowled as he finally managed to free his hands, "you stay there!"

Merlin immediately stopped moving. "I won't hurt you," he said, knowing his words must appear empty to Arthur, meaningless, "I just want to help you." He took another step closer to the Prince.

"I said stay away!" Arthur kept on walking backwards, his gaze wanting to stay upon Merlin, but he couldn't help himself but glare at the Dragon once every few seconds. "I don't know you anymore," he said through gritted teeth, "I certainly don't want your help!"

For a long second, complete silence filled the air and then Arthur turned around and ran. He ran through the trees, not looking back once, until he disappeared out of sight, leaving Merlin alone with the Dragon and Morgana who was still unconscious. And Merlin could only stare at the place where only seconds ago, Arthur had stood.

Merlin had brought this on himself and so he should face the consequences of his actions. A difficult time lay ahead, but there was this small voice in the back of his head that told him this wasn't over yet. After all, Arthur would still need protecting in the future, he still needed to become the King that Camelot needed. Only Merlin had no idea how he could fulfill his destiny now.

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, allowing himself to be surrounded by darkness for just a short moment. He needed a moment to think, but he quickly jumped back into action. Arthur was something he would worry about later. Right now, Morgana needed him and Merlin refused to let her down. He was the rea son after all that she had lost her sister, that she would feel all alone when she would wake up again.

It was Merlin's task to make sure that she didn't choose the dark path again, it was his task to teach her now, to make sure that she would use her magic for good. After all, that was what magic was meant for.

**AN: I did it, I killed Morgause! Yay for me! Or perhaps not because I actually like her character. It's important for her to be gone, however, if I want Merlin and Morgana to be together. And I'm sorry, I still haven't decided where to take their relationship, but I'll figure it out. I am so glad, however, that so many of you left me a review to tell me what you would rather want. I was surprised that many are rooting for Morgana/Merlin, but we'll see where this story goes and where their relationship is heading for.**

**Anyway, thanks for having read this chapter. I hope it didn't disappoint! I actually wrote this while watching an episode of Doctor Who (5x05 - Flesh and Stone) so forgive me if there are some mistakes in this chapter... I thought I could give multitasking a chance XD**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.

**AN**: Any and all mistakes are completely my own. Another chapter has arrived. I can only tell you one word:

Enjoy!

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 15**

The chamber was flooded with sunlight, a warmth filling it and giving it almost a home-like feeling, though Merlin knew this was not his home. He no longer had a place he could call home, but he had decided not to dwell on that fact for too long. He had other worries, more urgent ones.

He was standing before the window, his eyes closed as he could feel the warmth of the sun behind the thick glass. It was all he wanted to think about right now, but of course, reality would soon demand his attention again, but Merlin was almost at a loss for what he was supposed to do. He had no destiny anymore, no task he had to fulfill.

Arthur had told him clear enough that he didn't want Merlin around. The young sorcerer could still picture the Prince's face to clearly before him, the look in his eyes...the look of hurt and betrayel and disbelief. Merlin had been able to read so many emotion in them, but he hadn't been able to answer them, to find a proper response to explain himself.

Arthur had run off before Merlin even had a chance to talk to him. All that he now wondered, was whether or not the Prince had told Uther everything. If he had told Gwen. Merlin sighed deeply. Of course he would have told her. He could already see the disappointment in Gwen's eyes. She wouldn't hate him, Merlin wasn't even sure if Gwen was capable of feeling hate, but she certainly wouldn't like him anymore.

Behind him, a soft groan could be heard.

Merlin's eyes flew open and he spun around, watching how Morgana slowly moved underneath her blankets. She still looked pale and blue circles around her eyes betrayed how weak she still was, how tired. Merlin slowly walked towards her and sat down at the footend of her bed, waiting until Morgana would finally open her eyes for the first time in three days.

Three days. That's how long it had been since...everything. Since Merlin had killed Morgause, since Arthur had stormed away after having witnessed everything. Three days since the Dragon had shown up and three days since Morgana had nearly killed herself by using magic she was not strong enough to use.

The youngest sister groaned again and she squeezed her eyes shut, her lips opening a little and a long and tiredsome sigh escaped them.

"Morgana?" Merlin asked carefully.

Only now did she open her eyes, but they remained nothing more than two thin lines as the sunlight was too strong for her to open them fully. She looked around as if she was trying to determine where she was, but finally, her gaze met Merlin and it seemed to have triggered something inside her mind as her eyes grew wide and she quickly sat up, her long curls falling over her shoulders.

"Where is she?" she demanded to know, her voice sharp and rough. "Tell me she's alright."

Merlin said nothing. He only looked into her eyes and hoped he could see that he was sorry for her. He had wanted this to be different, he had wanted to give Morgana good news, but the truth was hard and it had to be faced.

"You killed her?" Morgana's voice was nothing more than a whisper.

"I'm sorry," Merlin said. He didn't regret his actions, however, and he wasn't going to lie about it to her. He refused to tell her anything wrong just to make her feel better. "I had to."

Morgana pressed her lips together, her eyes filling with tears, but she didn't allow them to roll down her face. She shook her head, her curls jumping up and down her face. "She's gone?"

Merlin nodded, but he had expected Morgana to fall forward, her arms around his neck and her face buried in his shoulders. For a brief second, Merlin didn't know what he had to do, but he soon returned to embrace, knowing that he needed to be there for Morgana, that he needed to support her.

"I'm so sorry, Morgana," he told her again.

"She tried to kill me," she sobbed, still holding onto Merlin, "I never before saw her so angry. I wanted to protect her, protect _you_." She let go of Merlin and looked into his eyes, her cheeks now wet. "I tried."

"I know," Merlin sighed deeply, "there is nothing you could have done."

Morgana sucked in a deep breath and calmed herself again. With the back of her hands, she dried her cheeks again and bit on her lower lip. She seemed hesitant like she wanted to ask him something, but she was holding back and Merlin wished she would just open up to him.

"What is it?" he wanted to know.

"What happened?" she asked. She pushed up her pillows behind her back and leaned against them, her gaze never unlocking with Merlin's. It was as if she was going to read the truth in his eyes.

"You fell unconsious," Merlin told her, remembering every detail so vividly, "and Morgause blamed me for everything that had happened. She wanted to kill Arthur, but I distracted her." He turned to look outside of the window, finding nothing but clear blue sky. Somewhere out there was the Dragon as he didn't want to leave Merlin alone with _the witch_ as he called her.

"I have to tell you something, Morgana," Merlin looked back at the youngest sister and he found her frowning, worry in her eyes, "about me. I'm not just a sorcerer," he swallowed heavily, remainding himself again why he was telling her this. He wanted to be honest with her, no more secrets. "My father's name was Balinor."

"The Dragonlord?" Morgana asked, trying to understand all that Merlin was telling her.

The young man only nodded. "Yes," he said, "and when he died, I inherited his power, his magic. I am the last Dragonlord, Morgana, just like my father was the last one. Three days ago, in the forest, I called upon him and the Dragon came, distracting Morgause long enough so that I could..." He couldn't say the last words.

Morgana's gaze fell towards her folded hands resting in her lap. "You killed her." There was no accusation in her voice, no hatred, but clearly she was feeling sad, lost even. She had lost her sister, after all, and Merlin couldn't begin to imagine how she must feel.

"Morgana," Merlin wanted to say something, but as she looked up, her big green eyes shining brightly with tears again, he immediately forgot what he wanted to tell her. All that he wanted was to comfort her.

"And next," she asked, "what happened after Morgause..."

Merlin bit his lower lip, not sure if Morgana was up for this. He suddenly could see how fragile she appeared and that she should rest. He continued to tell her, however, knowing she would want to sleep otherwise. "I wanted to help, Arthur, but he didn't want me near him." That memory hurt him more than he had expected, but Arthur had reacted in a way anyone would have. Merlin had betrayed him and he knew the Prince wasn't the most forgiving person in this world. "You should have seen the look in his eyes," he sighed, "like I was evil."

"You're not," Morgana quickly said, her hand finding Merlin's and squeezing it tightly, "you're not evil. After everything, you still manage to see reason, to admit to your mistakes and try to fix them. You're the bravest person I know."

"Not many will agree."

"I don't care," she told him, "I've _seen_ you, the real you. You are a complicated person, Merlin, one I don't think I'll ever know fully. If there is one thing I can tell you, it's that you are always _you_." She smiled reassuringly. "It's not always perfect, but no one is, Merlin, not even Arthur."

"You should rest," Merlin could only say. He wasn't sure if he wanted to have this conversation with Morgana, not yet anyway. He pulled his hand from underneath hers and stood up, feeling how her gaze followed his every movement.

"Will you be here?" she asked before Merlin left her chambers, "when I wake up?"

He threw her a warm smile. "Of course," he promised, "I won't leave you."

-o-o-

Arthur awoke with a shock, bolting upwards in his bed and trying to remember where he was. Everything surrounding him was strange and unfamiliar. The sheets of the bed he was laying in, the smell in the air. Even the distant sounds appeared out of place. The Prince quickly blinked his eyes, forcing them to adjust to the darkness and only now did he realize where he was.

He was home.

The doors of his bedchambers flew open, Gwen darting in with a concerned look on her face. She hurried over towards Arthur's bed and lifted her skirt as she sat down before him on the soft mattress.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Her hand moved to the Prince's forehead, feeling for a fever.

Arthur quickly pulled back his head, not wanting to be smothered like this. He swallowed heavily as he tried to calm down his breathing. It was clear that he had dreamt of something...horrible, but he couldn't remember anymore.

"I'm alright, Gwen," Arthur assured her, a smile on his lips. He knew it wasn't very convincing because she still frowned, concern written all over her face. "I had a dream, that's all."

"You haven't spoken much about," Gwen hesitated for a short moment, "your imprisonment."

Arthur let himself drop back onto his pillow. It was true that no one, except for Lancelot, knew all that had happened. Not even Uther had heard the full story. The story of Merlin's betrayel. Arthur had wanted to tell everyone, he wanted that boy's head on a plate, but he had remained silent, if only for Gwen. She wouldn't be able to handle the thought.

Arthur sighed. He shouldn't lie to himself. He hadn't told anyone about Merlin because he didn't want the whole Kingdom out looking for him. Arthur had made plans to search for that man himself. What he would do to him was still something he needed to make up his mind about. He could kill him, Arthur's hands already twitched at the idea, but this was still Merlin.

Merlin. A long sigh escaped Arthur's lips. Why was everything so complicated? Why did he have to feel a sense of...sympathy? Merlin had betrayed him, he had allowed him to be tortured and he was feeling sorry for _him_?

"Arthur?"

Gwen's voice brought him back to reality and he pushed himself back up, his gaze locking with Gwen's. Perhaps he should just tell her. He hated lying and she did deserve to know the truth. "Gwen," he started, but again, that little voice inside his head screamed at him to keep silent, "what if I told you I had to do something?"

"Because of Merlin?" Gwen's eyes became softer suddenly.

Arthur frowned, not understanding what she was implying.

"I know something happened, Arthur," she explained, "you can tell me a hundred times that Merlin decided to stay behind and find Morgana, but why would he? He has always been loyal to you and he wouldn't leave you behind, not like this."

Arthur looked down at his chest and stomach. He was wearing a thin, black shirt, but he knew well enough what was hidden beneath it. Scars, little ones and big ones. Some still heart while others could easily have been mistaken to have been there for years already. The magic Morgause had used on him was strong and the Prince still felt its effects.

"He came to see me," she continued to speak, "when he returned and said he had been able to escape the sisters and already I could feel it," she sighed deeply, "he had changed, or something had changed, but I ignored it. I was too happy to see him again."

"What would you do," Arthur asked carefully, "if I told you he is the reason I am like this." He lifted up his bare hands and arms, revealing the scars that glowed pink underneath the soft candlelight. He watched Gwen press her lips together, forcing back everything that she was now feeling. "Gaius' death," he continued to speak, "it hit him hard, too hard. He went to the sister and he promised them he would deliver them the Prince of Camelot."

Gwen's lower lip trembled and she sucked in a short breath before biting her inner cheek. Tears ran freely down her cheek and Arthur moved to sit closer to her, his hand resting on her neck, his thumb caressing her skin.

"It was Morgause who tortured me," he continued to tell, feeling an odd sense of relief as he finally told his story to someone, "but Merlin, he did nothing. He came back because he had to help Morgana get into the castle. Their plan was to kill my father, but I don't know what happened."

Gwen was crying now, but Arthur didn't stop. He had decided to tell her and half a story would only make this worse. She needed to hear it all.

"All that I know, is that Morgause took Lancelot and myself outside, wanting to kill him," Arthur again could see the Knight's terrified look in his eyes as he learned about his fate, "he escaped, however, and Morgause... I don't really know what happened next. She took me to the forest and we waited until suddenly, Merlin and Morgana showed up."

"What happened?" Gwen's voice shook.

"He killed her," Arthur still couldn't quite believe this part. Never before had he seen anyone so powerfull, so in control of a situation while everything had appeared to be so lost. "Merlin killed Morgause and I ran. The first chance I got, I ran. I don't even know if Morgana is still alive."

Arthur took both of Gwen's hands into his and he looked into her eyes. "Now tell me," he repeated, his voice was nothing more than a whisper, "what would you do if I told you Merlin is reason of all this?"

Gwen shook her head and Arthur took her into an embrace. "Exactly," he admitted, "I don't know either."

**AN: I had so much fun writing this. I know, it's all kind of depressing, but this isn't the end. A lot can still happen and many choices have to made. I just wanted a scene between Morgana and Merlin and between Arthur and Gwen. I love Arthur/Gwen because I feel like they kinda balance each other out.**

**Morgana and Merlin is another story entirely. I wrote them so that you can read signs of the beginnings (the early beginnings) of a romantic relationship, but also in a way where they can just be friends. **

**Anyway, I believe I still have a lot of questions to answer. What will happen to Merlin and Morgana? What will Arthur do? Will he tell his father or will he decide something else? And how is Lancelot feeling about all this because trust me, I haven't forgotten about him.**

** krimsondelamber: in response to your review on chapter 13: I know I might have gotten a little sidetracked about the whole torturing of Arthur, but I haven't forgotten. The topic was addressed in this chapter and I hope it was done so in a believable way.**

**Thanks for having read this chapter!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.

**AN**: Any and all mistakes are completely my own. Thanks to all those that left me a review! They are always greatly appreciated!

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 16**

_A darkness settled in, one like Morgana had never sensed before. She stood in a vast and wide field of green grass that reached up to her waist. Her black hair was pulled back into a braid and her orange dress was just a little too big. She was just a little girl, not much older than six. This was one of the last days that she had spent at her home with her father. At least, with the man she had thought to be her father. She missed him even though she knew he was still alive right here and now. It was all very confusing, but Morgana knew these were the last days she would be spending here._

_She could see every detail so clearly before her as if everything was too bright, to lifelike and she kept thinking that her father would walk up behind her, surprise her, and that he would swoop her off her feet and they would play together._

_But then the clouds had settled in, shadows covering all and Morgana, still the little six year old, gazed up, seeing how the sun changed form, how it expanded as if it were to explode until suddenly, the bright star simply vanished. The soft feeling of the dirt underneath her feet, had disappeared and the morning breeze suddenly changed into warm air that embraced her like a hot blanket. _

_Morgana closed her eyes, wishing to return to that field, but when she looked ahead again, she was no longer a little girl. She was herself and she could feel the pain of all the loss she had suffered recently, of all the loss that might still come._

_She stood in a large chamber that was completely empty. No chairs, no tables, not even paintings that covered the bare and cold walls. The large windows were dirty, not allowing much sunlight to enter, but Morgana could see that she wasn't alone. Every movement was sharp, every change demanding her attention._

_Lancelot stood near the exit of the chamber, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword. Confusion was visible on his face, his hand trembling softly as he tried to decide whether or not to draw out his sword. Merlin stood only a few feet away from her and his eyes were wide, his arm lifted up towards Morgana as if to stop her, but he was too far away. A gaze of panic and uncertainty was visible in his eyes, but he didn't move, he didn't even jump aside of use magic as Arthur, who stood directly next to Merlin, swiftly pulled out a knife and aimed it at Merlin's throat, ready to kill him._

Her eyes flew open, her body bolting upwards as she realized that her dream hadn't been a dream at all. It had been a long time she had seen the future, but it seemed this vision had been too strong to surpress unless... As she tried to calm herself, her breathing shallow and uncontrolled, her hand reached for the bracelet she was still wearing. She had received it as a gift from Morgause, but now she was dead. Perhaps the magic in the bracelet was gone as well.

That didn't matter now. Morgana quickly pushed aside her blankets, her legs swinging over the edge of her bed. She wore nothing but a thin white sleeping dress, but she didn't care. She needed to find Merlin and quickly. The floor beneath her feet was cold, very cold compared to the feeling she had experienced in her dream when standing in the field. She ran through her bedchambes, however, on her bare feet, not caring that she could get sick.

When she pushed open her door, she found the hall empty. It seemed the guards had gone as well and nothing around her seemed familiar anymore. Not even this castle even though she had lived here for over a year.

"Merlin!" she called out. She looked towards her right, but no one appeared. There was no movement to her right either. "Merlin!" she called out again, louder this time.

Footsteps approached her and Morgana turned on her heels, seeing how Merlin hurried towards her, a look of concern in his eyes.

"Morgana?" His voice was hesitant as he didn't know what was happening. "Why are you out of bed?"

"I had a dream, Merlin," Morgana could still visualise every detail, "I saw the future."

Merlin gently guided Morgana back into her room and Morgana hadn't even realized how cold she had been. Inside the bedchamber, a warmth was clearly perceptible and her goosebumps disappeared again. It was a rather nice feeling, but the panic inside her chest was still very much present.

She turned and stopped walking, forcing Merlin to look her in the eye. "I saw you," her voice was nothing more than a whisper, "I saw Arthur and Lancelot. You are in danger, Merlin, I saw Arthur trying to kill you."

"You have to rest," Merlin simply said. His hand took Morgana's arm and he directed her to her bed, letting her sit down and putting the blanket around her shoulders.

An annoyance filled her. Why was Merlin taking care of her while she was telling him this? He should be panicked, he should run away from this place as fast as he could, but in stead he kneeled down before her, his hands taking hers.

"He won't kill me," Merlin said, appearing certain of his words, "I won't die."

"I saw it, Merlin," Morgana leaned forward, her hands squeezing Merlin's forcefully, "I saw Arthur pull a knife at you."

"And then what?" Merlin asked. His eyes were wide, his voice clear and calm.

"You did nothing," Morgana swallowed heavily, remembering how angry she had felt when Merlin had done nothing, when he had allowed Arthur to pull the knife, "you had a knife at your throat and you didn't even move."

"It's just a dream," Merlin smiled faintly, wanting to reassure her.

"No," Morgana shook her head in disbelief. Her curls jumped up and down around her face and Morgana pulled away her hands. "It wasn't a dream," her voice was hard, "Merlin, I saw the _future_."

"The future is never set in stone," Merlin said calmly.

Morgana pressed her lips together, taking in a deep breath. "You have to leave," she said, feeling a strange sense of sadness overwhelm her, "you have to go, Merlin, you have to get as far away as possible. Arthur won't find you then."

"I'm not leaving you," Merlin quickly said, "I made a promise, remember?"

"You will die," Morgana nearly hissed the words.

"If Arthur is coming here," Merlin explained, "then I'll be waiting for him." He watched how Morgana frowned, unable to follow his logic, "I won't run, I'm tired of running."

Morgana nodded. She understood more clearly then ever before. She too was tired, but she made herself a promise. She would not let Merlin die, she would not disappoint him and if Arthur even made one movement in the wrong direction, she would take action. Merlin was the only person in this world that understood her, that _knew_ her, and she wasn't going to lose him.

A faint smile covered her lips as she watched Merlin bend forward, pressing a soft kiss against her forehead. He smiled broadly at her. "I will not leave you behind," he told her once more, his hands taking Morgana's again, "I will _never_ leave you behind."

**AN: I know this is a short chapter, but I didn't want to start another part. The next chapter will have (spoiler, I guess), an encounter between Merlin, Morgana and Arthur and Lancelot. Whether or not Morgana's dream will come true is still to be decided...**

**So what did you think of this chapter? I wanted to have a caring Morgana so that the relationship between her and Merlin could grow. I took a big step here, I believe, with Merlin kissing her forehead, but that could still point to anything...**

**Thanks for having read this! The next chapter will arrive soon because my exams are finally done! :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.

**AN**: Any and all mistakes are completely my own. Thanks to all those that left me a review, that added this story to their favorites and that even added me to their author-alert-list and made me a favorite author! I feel honoured, really, I couldn't stop smiling after all the messages I got in my inbox from Fanfiction. YOU GUYS ROCK!

**Blindsided**

**Chapter 17**

Merlin felt like he had stood there for hours already. Never did he see anything, not the movement of trees or the faint shadow of what could be a man. There was no one around for miles, but still, Merlin felt...nervous. He couldn't call it any other way. Morgana had seen the future, she had seen what would happen when Arthur and Lancelot would come to them.

He should have run, really, he should have gotten as far away as possible, but Merlin would never have forgiven himself. He wasn't the kind of person that ran away from his troubles, from his actions. There were many reasons why Arthur would want to come back here and Merlin wasn't stupid. It wouldn't be to become friends again, to forgive each other and fall into each other's arms. It would be to gain answers, an explanation perhaps.

He sighed heavily. He had been so lost in thought, that he hadn't heard Morgana approach him from behind. When she came to stand next to him, looking outside as well, Merlin turned to watch her. She looked better. Her skin was still pale, but her lips had regained some color. She looked stronger, but Merlin still didn't know how much magic Morgana would be able to handle.

"You look good," he told her in all honesty.

She smiled, still not looking at him. "Are you waiting on them?" she asked, curiosity in her voice. She was still smiling and Merlin liked it. She never smiled much, but it was nice to see that she seemed...happier somehow.

Merlin nodded in response to her question. "Why do you think they are coming here?"

Morgana slowlt turned her head to her left to face Merlin. Her smile had vanished and she looked serious, almost angry. "To kill you, of course," she answered, "I have seen it happen."

"No," Merlin simply said, still looking into her eyes, "if they wanted to kill me, they would bring Knights, guards even. You just saw Arthur and Lancelot. You didn't see my death."

Morgana exhaled sharply, folding her hands before her stomach. "Perhaps that is their plan," she said, "to appear weak, to take us by surprise. I will not let them kill you," her eyes grew wide, almost wild, "I will defend us to the end."

"It won't come to that," Merlin assured her. He took a step closer towards her and placed his hands on her folded ones. They were cold, once again reminded Merlin that she wasn't as strong yet as she would like him to believe. He smiled at her, hoping she would find it comforting. The last thing Merlin wanted to do, was have another fight, another battle. "Trust me, Morgana," he told her, "there will be no more fighting."

-o-o-

Arthur could no longer bare the silence. It had been days, weeks even, since he had lost Merlin as his servant. He still missed his ramblings, his crazy babbling and stories that didn't make any sense. When Merlin was around, there was never a moment of silence, of boredom. And now, Arthur realized, all that he could hear was silence.

Lancelot had not spoken since they had begun their journey. He hadn't been obligated to come alone, but as soon as the Knight had learned that the Prince was going on a secret queste, Lancelot had refused to let him go alone. And here they were now, riding on their horses to the one place that would rather not see again. Arthur didn't have any choice-_no_! He refused to think that. A man _always_ had a choice!

It was his choice to find Merlin, to get the answers he wanted, needed even. Arthur felt hatred, sure, and disbelief even after everthing that had happened. He still found it so hard to believe that Merlin was a sorcerer, worse, that he had betrayed him. For so long, all that the Prince had seen, was a louzy servant, an idiotic one. He should have seen the signs, really, the secrecy that Merlin could sometimes show.

"Arthur?"

The Prince looked back, seeing Lancelot kick his horse so that it would quicken its pace. "We are here," he announced, looking up. Arthur followed his gaze and saw, in the distance, the castle where he knew Merlin and Morgana would be. He could still turn around, he could chose to forget this. Arthur knew Merlin wouldn't bother him again, that the destruction of Camelot wasn't on his wish-list.

"Let's go," Arthur simply said after a long silence. Together with Lancelot, they rode towards the castle and before they realized, they reached the small pathway that would lead them straight to the gates. They followed it and after another thirty minutes, the heavy wooden gates doomed up before them. It looked mighty, threatening even.

It was time, Arthur thought to himself, to get his answers.

-o-o-

Merlin saw Arthur first. It was a strange feeling, knowing that when they would face each other, it wouldn't be very friendly. There wouldn't be any playful bickering or insulting of each other. And yet, with all that had changed, the Prince still looked the same. He still wore the same clothes, his eyes were still blue and filled with life and even the way he walked, all tall and with confidence, it never changed.

Behind the Prince, walked Lancelot. He did seem different, anxious almost, nervous. Merlin knew he couldn't let himself be fooled by that. Lancelot might not trust him at all, he might not feel safe here, that didn't mean he could not fight. If anything, the Knight would be more deadly than ever.

Merlin felt Morgana's gaze upon him as she stood behind him, but he ignored her, at least for now. The Prince, almost feeling the presence of others around him, turned to look at his left, to the large chamber that unfolded before him, and only now did he see them. He immediately came to a halt and so did Lancelot now that he had gotten a look at them as well.

"Arthur," Merlin greeted him, his voice echoing through the large chamber, "Lancelot."

The two men slowly entered the chamber through the open doors, but they didn't draw out their weapons. They remained standing a safe distance away from Morgana and Merlin, however, making sure that they had a clear exit point should they need one.

"Merlin," Arthur was the first one to break the long silence. His voice was surprisingly soft, free of any hate or anger. "You look," his gaze studied the young sorcerer almost meticulously, "the same as ever."

Merlin couldn't surpress a chuckle escaping his lips. "I was just thinking the same about you," he explained when Lancelot, Arthur and even Morgana threw him a questionning gaze. "I am glad you came," he spoke then, "there is lot I have to explain."

"You knew we were coming," it was Lancelot who came to the conclusion. His gaze shifted from Merlin to Morgana and back again. His body language revealed the tension he felt, but Merlin didn't give it any attention.

"Yes," the young sorcerer simply answered, "and as you can see, we didn't attack you." He hoped that would bring some relief, some calmer mood surrounding them.

"Should we be thankful for that?" Arthur asked, his eyebrows raised.

Merlin pressed his lips together. The first signs of hostility. He knew they would have come, but it was still so very strange to hear them coming from Arthur and pointed towards him. "We don't wish you any harm," he said, but he quickly added, "not anymore." He took a slow step forward and saw how Lancelot's hand moved closer to the hilt of his sword. "You came for answers," he said, focusing his attention on the Prince, "so ask the questions."

"Why," Arthur asked, looking straight into Merlin's eyes, "didn't you kill my father."

"You know the answer," it was Morgana who spoke, anger clearly audible in her voice. She still could not believe that she hadn't taken her chance of killing Uther that night. "Or hasn't he told you?" Her voice had become playful, almost taunting as she looked at Lancelot.

"Morgana," Merlin said loudly, "that's enough."

"Can't you see, Merlin," she said, still looking at the Knight, "they're not here for answers. They are here for an excuse to kill you."

Merlin watched how Arthur bit down on his lower lip and swallowed heavily. "I honestly don't know," the Prince said, quickly glancing towards Lancelot before looking at Merlin again, "so tell me, Merlin. Why didn't you kill him?"

"We had a choice," Merlin explained calmly, making sure that he spoke every word loud and clearly. He wanted Arthur to understand his actions, to understand _him_ and that would not be easy to do. "Morgause didn't like me at all, she felt I was..." he searched for the right words, "stealing Morgana away from her. I came up with the plan to return to Camelot and get Morgana inside the castle."

The young sorcerer looked at every emotion in Arthur's face, but all that he saw was confusion so he continued to talk, hoping that the Prince would soon understand. "Everything went as planned until right before we were going to enter your father's bedchambers. Uther was sleeping so he would have been a very easy target. Morgana got a message from her sister, however. If I wasn't to return to Morgause immediately, she was going to kill you."

"Why would she want you to come back to her?" Arthur asked, skepticism in his voice, "You were about to kill my father, the King. That's something Morgause wanted as well. Why would she want you to abbort that plan?"

"She didn't trust me," Merlin said, "she believed that I was playing them, that I was actually still on your side. She thought I was luring her sister into a trap. She wanted me to come to her so that she could kill me."

"That's why she was so impulsive," Morgana said, looking only at Lancelot, "that's why she wanted you, Lancelot, dead. You had no more use and she wanted Arthur to suffer." She watched how Lancelot swallowed heavily. "That is when you escaped, right?"

Lancelot remained silent, but Merlin didn't really offer him a chance to speak. "Like I said," the young sorcerer focused back onto the Prince, "I had a choice. You alive or the King dead. I knew what I had to do, Arthur, and I came as quickly as possible. I even ran into Lancelot." Merlin let his gaze slide from the Prince to the Knight. "I assured you I wanted to help him," he told the Knight.

Slowly, Merlin looked back to Arthur. "I came to you and Morgana followed me. You were there, Arthur," he said, "in the forest, you saw what happened, how Morgause and I fought and how I won."

Arthur threw down his gaze, absorbing all the information. "You have magic," he said, looking back up, "why didn't you tell me?"

Merlin shrugged. "Believe it or not, Arthur," he sighed, "I had a lot on my mind other than cleaning your armor and your stables, than fixing your boots and-" Merlin forced himself to come to a stop. He felt anger rise inside of him and he refused to give in to it. "The Dragon," he continued to speak, "he told me about my destiny. I was to protect you, I was to make sure that you lived long enough to take the throne. That's quite a burden and I became tired and I grew weak. Gaius' death, it simply became too much."

"The Dragon escaped," Arthur said, remembering all the details now, "but we always knew someone must have helped him. He was locked away for twenty years so he couldn't just have found a way out of the cave from underneath the castle."

Merlin chuckled humorlessly. "I always forget how little you know about me," he said. Merlin looked back, seeing how Morgana's gaze had turned sad. She knew the next part of the story. It was something Merlin wasn't proud of, but Arthur had to know if he wanted to understand. "Ever since I arrived in Camelot," Merlin continued his story, swallowing heavily, "I have been seeing the Dragon. He told me how to fix things, how to fight magical creatures and how to keep Camelot safe. When we were attacked by the Knights of Medhir while everyone was asleep, I made the Dragon a promise." Merlin closed his eyes for a seconds, still being able to remember every second of that dreadful day. "I would release him if he helped me save Camelot. The Dragon told me I was to kill the source of the magic that kept everyone asleep."

"That source was me," Morgana cut in. She didn't look at Arthur or Lancelot, but she kept her gaze fixed on the young sorcerer standing before her. She didn't look angry, though, only sad as she could see the guilt in Merlin's eyes.

"I poisoned Morgana," Merlin looked straight into Arthur's eyes, needing him to see the turmoil inside of him, "and I saved everyone. Or so I thought. I went down to the Dragon and I released him. I didn't know he was going to attack the city."

"Hundreds of people died that day!" Lancelot yelled. His hand reached for the hilt of his sword now, wanting to draw it out, but Morgana was quicker. She lifted her hand towards the Knight, seeing his movement as a threat. She was ready to use magic.

"No!" Merlin spun around to look at Morgana with shock in his gaze. His hand was now outstretched towards her as he wanted to prevent her from using magic, but suddenly, he could feel the cold metal of a sword against his throat. As a shiver ran down his back, he held his breath, not wanting to move at all and he felt his heart race inside his chest.

"This is it," Morgana exhaled, looking from the Prince towards Merlin and then to Lancelot who only wore a hesitant gaze in his eyes as he wasn't sure what was happening. "This is what I saw, Merlin."

Merlin only slowly lifted both his hands, showing the Prince that he wasn't going to harm him, that he wasn't going to use magic, but the sharp edge of Arthur's sword was still pushing painfully in his skin.

"Please, Arthur," Merlin whispered, "we aren't going to harm you or Lancelot."

Another long second passed, but eventually, Arthur lowered his sword, allowing Merlin to breathe more relaxed. "You released the Dragon, then what?" He demanded to know.

"We went to seek the Dragonlord," Merlin turned his head so that he could look at Arthur again, "he was my father. It was the first time I met him and I watched him die. His power, his magic, it was my inheritance. I am now the last Dragonlord and I forced the Dragon to leave Camelot alone."

"So you saved us," Lancelot said, looking more relaxed, "_again_."

Merlin only nodded. "Gaius was the only one who knew," he spoke softly, "the only one who knew _everything_. I never had to hide who I was and when he died, I felt alone. I don't expect you to understand, Arthur," he took a step away from the Prince and towards Morgana, "but here, I didn't have to hide anymore."

Morgana took Merlin's hand and pulled him another step closer towards her. "We just want to be left alone," she said, "we won't cause any trouble."

Arthur's eyes became nothing more than two thin lines. "How do I know that I can trust you," he asked, "both of you?"

"You don't," Merlin said, looking down at his hand resting into the one of Morgana, "that's why it is called trust. You never know who you can trust. It's a leap of faith."

Arthur took a step away from both Merlin and Morgana and towards Lancelot. "I should kill you," he said, "I should take you both to my father. The punishment of using magic is death." The Prince sighed heavily. "I you ever harm anymore, I you ever..." he pressed his lips together as he swallowed heavily, " I will kill you."

"We're not evil," Merlin simply commented, "we won't bother you again."

"Good," Arthur said hesitantly. He placed his sword back into the belt around his waist and turned his back towards them. "Let us leave," he told Lancelot, "and never come back."

Lancelot, who was still looking at Merlin and Morgana, only nodded and together, they left the chamber, hurrying outside towards their horses. As soon as they climbed them, they disappeared into the woods, never looking back, never once taking a last glance at the castle where they knew Merlin and Morgana were.

This was truly the end, Arthur knew, as he would never see Merlin again. He felt sad, but he didn't regret his actions. Camelot was his first concern after all and he needed to protect his people. Merlin wasn't going to be a threat anymore, that much he knew, and so Arthur mourned his lost friendship, hoping that he did the right thing by leaving Merlin alive, by leaving Morgana alive.

"Are you alright?" Lancelot asked once they had settled into a more comfortable pace.

"Yes," Arthur answered, believing in the honesty of his answer, "yes, I am."

And together with the Knight, the Prince rode back to Camelot, a painful chapter of his life closed, but he knew many more would come. After all, he was the Prince and a prince's life was never easy. No, Arthur thought, there were still adventures to weather.

**AN: Don't forget to read the epilogue!**

**I hope this chapter brought some relief, some answers and I hope I managed to bring a lot of emotion in this chapter. It wasn't easy to write such a heavy conversation between four people so I decided I should focus mostly on Arthur and Merlin. Their relationship is the centre after all. I hope I succeeded in it all.**


	18. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Merlin characters.

AN: Any and all mistakes are completely my own.

**Blindsided**

**Epilogue**

Years had passed. Arthur didn't know where they had gone. It seemed that one morning, he had just woken up to find himself wondering what he had been doing for the past few months. It had all happened so quickly. His father had become ill and died not even two weeks later. Arthur had taken the throne and the people of Camelot had welcomed their new King with open arms.

He had married a woman, one he had thought never to have, but Gwen was a good Queen. She was not only loyal to Arthur, she was loyal to her people, to her friends. Never did she forget about her past, about the hard times in which she had grown up. Arthur admired that about her.

And like he said, years had past and he had just celibrated his thirtiest birthday. Life had never before been so...easy. There were no threats, no enemy Kings that wanted Camelot destroyed and not even magic was causing him troubles, not since he had allowed it to return. It was a decision he still doubted every day, but Gwen assured him that he had done the right thing, that no more innocent lives would be lost by fire.

Of course, Arthur was still King and he did have troubles on his mind. He needed to keep his land alive after all, he needed to assure that the people could make enough money and that the crops would flourish so that they could survive the harsh and cold winters. Everything seemed to be going rather well, however, and it was at times like these, that the King's thoughts were mostly occupied with his former servant.

Not a day passed when he didn't think of Merlin. He still wondered where that boy was, what he would be doing or whether or not he would still be alive. At first, Arthur had felt guilty about those thoughts. He shouldn't be worrying about someone who had hurt and betrayed him. But after a while, he had simply accepted it. It was a part of his life now.

"You look well," a voice spoke to him, "my Lord."

Arthur was used to being spoken to while walking through the streets of Camelot. He always greeted back the one addressing him, but this time, he stopped dead in his tracks. He didn't turn around for a long moment and when he did turn, he only saw a hooded figure standing before him.

"_Merlin_," Arthur simply said. He watched how the stranger pulled back his hood and indeed, before him stood the sorcerer he had not seen for years. Merlin hadn't changed much. He still had short black hair and bright blue eyes that seemed to pierce everything he looked at. Arthur couldn't help himself but glance around. He wasn't looking for back-up or guards that would be able to run to his help, but he was looking for _her_.

"Morgana is around," Merlin said, instantly knowing who Arthur was looking for, "and she is well."

Arthur only nodded. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say or even do. "You look good," he eventually spoke, cursing himself for not having said anything better.

"Thank you," Merlin smiled and it was a smile that Arthur recognised. It was a boyish smile, an innocent smile. "We didn't end on the best of terms," Merlin continued to speak, "but I had to see you. You're King," Merlin seemed almost proud, "the best Camelot had seen in years."

"Why are you back?" Arthur asked. There was no hostility in his voice, only curiosity.

"Morgana and I have traveled," Merlin explained. He started walking again and Arthur followed him. It had been years since they had walked side by side, having a decent conversation. "I guess we both grew tired and longed for our home."

Arthur frowned as he couldn't follow the young sorcerer.

"This is our home, Arthur," Merlin said, "Camelot. We miss this place, but don't worry, we won't stay long and bother you."

"No," Arthur quickly said, "you can stay."

Merlin's eyebrows shot up. It was clear that he couldn't understand Arthur's words. "A lot has changed, Merlin," Arthur spoke, "for instance, magic isn't a crime anymore."

Merlin chuckled. "I heard," he said, "you did the right thing."

"I hope so," Arthur sighed. They turned into another street that was filled with people. All of them bowed when their King passed them, but murmurs started to errupt when some of them recognized Merlin. They simply weren't used to seeing someone talk to the King so freely.

"The people of Camelot still remember you," Arthur smiled, "you were just a servant of the Prince, but look at them." He watched how Merlin turned to face the people talking about them, but he quickly turned away from them. "Don't worry," Arthur assured him, "they don't know anything. I never really explained your disappearance."

"How is Gwen?" Merlin then asked.

"Adjusting," Arthur admitted, "she still isn't used to the wealth or even the clothes. She is a good Queen, however, and the people love her."

"Of course they do," Merlin smiled.

"Where is she," Arthur come to a stop and looked at his former servant, "where is Morgana?"

"With the Queen," Merlin said hesitantly.

Arthur's eyes grew wide at the thought of Gwen being alone with Morgana and a sudden anger rose in his chest. He cursed himself for having been so stupid! Merlin wasn't here for a simple chat, he was here to occupy him, to make sure he wouldn't think of Gwen!

"Please, Arthur," Merlin's voice was pleading, "she won't hurt Gwen."

"You liar!" Arthur shouted. He turned his back towards Merlin, ready to storm away.

"Why would we?" Merlin shouted back. He clearly wasn't afraid to stand up to Arthur. The people around them had fallen to a silence, watching in disbelief as the King was being spoken to like that. "Why would we want to hurt Gwen?"

Arthur slowly turned around, his eyes nothing more than two thin lines.

"I'm sorry," Merlin quickly apologized for his outburst, "Arthur, we only want to come home, we want to see our friends again, to settle down. Gwen and Morgana have been friends for years and Morgana just wanted to see her again, talk to her."

The King sighed heavily. "It's still hard," he admitted, "trusting you. There was a time I would have given my life for you, but now..." he looked straight into Merlin's eyes, "it has all changed."

"That it has," Merlin agreed, "and don't ever die for me." He laughed. "You're King now, that would be idiotic of you to do."

Arthur couldn't help but smile. "You know," he said, "after all those years, all that has happened, you still haven't changed. You still have the same idiotic humor." A guard hurried towards him now and whispered something into Arthur's ear. The King straightened his back and looked towards Merlin. "I have to go," he said, "I have an important tournament to arrange."

"Still want to prove yourself to your people?" Merlin asked.

Arthur chuckled. "I won't be participating in this one," he told Merlin, "I am King now." He turned around and started to walk away, only now realizing how easy talking to Merlin had been. He hadn't felt hatred, anger or even the urge to kick him. He felt like he had fallen back into a pattern of ease. Only now did he know how much he had missed Merlin.

"Merlin?" Arthur looked back to where the young sorcerer still stood, "welcome home."

Merlin only smiled back at Arthur and the King knew that all would be okay.

**AN: It is done! This story is over. I can't believe how quickly that went. I really enoyed writing this story and I hope you guys enjoyed it as well. **

**Thanks for having read this all the way to the end :)**


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